The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Carolyn

Hey World Hey, 

          Carolyn, when I met her I was blown away. It was like a breath of fresh air. The light finally came on at the end of the tunnel. My wings were full grown, I could finally take flight, and every other cliche you can think of. It was almost perfect, and I say almost because there were a few issues from the start. Issues like ex boyfriend drama, previous psychiatric battles, daddy drama, and ex baby issues. Oh and did I mention she had a boyfriend at the that time. ( Just by reading that paragraph you can already tell that the what I learned portion of this chapter is extensive.) Nevertheless this girl was amazing. She didn't hide her past, but she didn't glorify it either. It was as if she accepted it and had moved on from all of those issues. I was instantly hooked by her down to earth persona. It was refreshing to meet a girl so cool. However since she had a boyfriend, and I wasn't about to step on his toes. I kept all notions of my feelings free from her radar. It wasn't hard to do because she was oblivious. She knew very little about me. 

          Well needless to say a short time after we met she broke up with her boyfriend, (go figure huh) and not long after that we were "talking". We  were both very into each other and we might as well have dated, but we were both trying to give her a respectable time to "get over" her last relationship., or so I thought. Well after a tear filled conversation about how I didn't want to be serious and how she felt neglected I asked her out. (don't judge me to the end) We dated for a month or so, things were good in fact they were beautiful. Everything was looking like forever was in the distance. Then slowly but surely the issues, that I thought in the beginning were taken care of, started to creep out and come between us. Now in all fairness I had my own situations with work and school going on that kind of got in the way as well. You know the natural things like work, school, money, those kind of issues. Things that could cause problems with any relationship. That being said, things got really tense at times, they were really awesome as well, but it seemed the deeper we got into the relationship the more the bad outweighed the good. We tried to take the relationship in better directions multiple times. We would talk, we would decide on a direction or action, then we would try to go there. Eventually she wouldn't like the direction or I would cave and we would go right back to where we were. It just wasn't healthy physically or mentally for the both of us. 

          Believe it or not, I loved her, hard, even through all the drama. I loved her with all I had and I made sure everybody knew it. At times I couldn't even tell you why, but I did. I even had gone as far as to save money to set her grandmothers ring in a new setting. I was planning the proposal, had the jeweler picked out. It was forever for me. I thought I could deal with it all. You know all the issues, all the fighting, all the tears and late nights of worry and anger. I thought we could work it out together. However, our plans differed, our minds were totally on two separate plains. So after a lot of fighting, bickering, and confusion we broke up. I believe it was for the best. At first I didn't think it would happen. I never wished it to happen but it did. It was hard at first. It's supposed to be hard. Not gonna lie, I cried the first day. But; I took a step back to evaluate myself and realized that it was absolutely the best thing for me. I used to think she was the best thing for me. Funny how that works out.

                                                     What I learn from Carolyn

1. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, its not a dog but it may be a goose. Red flags are very important in any relationship. Red means stop. Think about what your going to do. Me, I didn't do that. I dived head first into a puddle and tried to roll around and hope I got wet. It was the dumbest thing I could have ever done. I should have never gotten into the relationship in the first place. I do not regret it, but if I could do it all over I wouldn't do it at all. it wasn't worth the stress. It looked like it was going to be perfect. It look like a great match, but looks can be deceiving. 

2. If a girl has issues with their father, she will have issues with you. Point blank. Nuff said. 

3. Protect your heart and your sanity. I give both of those things away too easily I always have. Its my personality. I can be so engrossed in a girl that nothing else matters. However that is a wrong way of thinking, because everything else matters. 

4. Lead her no matter what. If she doesn't want to follow than that's on her. Never be so afraid to lose her that you lose yourself and modify who you are and what you believe. I did that with her. i was so afraid of losing her that I tried to do whatever I could to keep her. Again, that's wrong thinking. No relationship is important enough for you to lose value in yourself. 

5. Take responsibility. You know blame is always thrown around after a breakup, but honestly this relationship was on me. It should have never happened. I knew better. I've been through enough on my own to see the red flags and heed them, but I didn't. I was too caught up in the emotional, physical, and personal benefits of the relationship that I didn't care. Its always nice to have somebody around, but it came at a high price. I should have made smarter decisions. 

          When it all boils down, yes, love is blind. The thing that most people forget is that you have 4 other senses to use when love has blinded you. Every one of them can help you see more clearly. I wish I would have payed more attention to my senses early on, because pain, stress, frustration, and loss, all suck simultaneously. 

Hope this helps somebody out there.

Love ya world,

            Vic 

          

The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Amelia

Helloooooo World,


          Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.

          This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.

          There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.

          The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.



                                                          What I learn from Amelia

1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.



2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.


3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.


         

What Constitutes Failure?

Hey World,


          The game of life is a tricky game to play. I know that's a very cliche thing to say, but its still remains true. You hear it all the time, people say " You win some, you lose some", as if it is just as acceptable to lose as it is to win. Makes me think, about the times I've "won" in life and the times I've "lost". Are they of equal significance? The answer is no, in fact a HUGE NO! I submit to you that losing, is better than winning....Wait! Let me finish before you freak out...I am saying that ,in life, you get more out of losing than you do winning. That is, if you apply yourself. Which is the constant problem for a a lot of people.

          See when we lose we like to think of it as failing. I don't like to see it that way. Losing is life's way of telling you exactly what you need to do next time to make it better.I believe that failure is two things. First, failure is what happens when you refuse to acknowledge the tools that losing gave you. Its not that you simply don't learn from your loss, its that you refuse to acknowledge that you need to. The thing about losing is you can lose more than once and for more than one reason. This little nugget of "life's lessons" is hard to perceive, hence multiple mistakes, repeats, breakups, missed shots, and lost opportunities. Personal example: I've been in a few relationships, people would call them failed. In some ways I can see why, but if I apply the "loss lessons" ( as I will call them) would it all have been a failure? I like to think I've learned a lot from relationships about myself and what I need, dislike, can tolerate, and love, as well as how I react and function in certain situations. Relationships is only one are though. I remember a situation where I was playing a 3 on 3 basketball game. My team had already beaten the other team 2 games to none. We had a simple formula my teammate would drive the ball in, his father would set an off ball screen for me and my teammate would pass me the ball and I'd shoot the outside jumper. We would do this for at least 5 of the 11 points needed to win. Thing is, the other team caught on to the play and my shooting approach and blocked my shot every time I went up to shoot the ball. I became so frustrated that I stopped trying for the shot, and the other team won the game. What happened there was the other team applied the "loss lessons" and I Failed. We clearly had the skill to beat them for the third time, but I failed to adapt to the new challenges.

          The second way I look at failure, is the refusal to apply what you've learned. You can clearly see that you need to change some things but you don't instead you move on to something different and continue to have mistakes, repeats, breakups, missed shots, and lost opportunities, plague your life. You think your done with it but over and over again it comes back. Why is that? It is because you didn't take the time necessary to apply those loss lessons. So over and over again no matter what you do its going to plague you. It's like this. If your shoes come untied and you fall, do you tuck them back in your shoes without tying them or do you tie them, before you get up? Its simply put in this manner but its a shame how many times we leave our shoes "untied but tucked" in life. I'm so guilty of this just neglecting the fact that I need to improve some area in my life before starting another venture. I think sometimes that its unrelated and won't affect me. WRONG! It always comes around through the side door and takes a big chunk out of my butt. I can't be mad though, I left it there and left the door open for it to sneak in.

          So next time you lose at something or lose someone, remember that life is trying to teach you a lesson, One that could prevent you from further loss in the future and produce a win. More importantly, life is teaching you something that could prevent you from failure.


Till next time world
                    Vic

The Love of Women : The Root of All My Evil - Stella #1

Hello World,

          Everyone anyone has ever known, if they are honest with themselves, can look back at the bullets they've dodged. Not literal bullets, but figurative, imaginary, life changing bullets. You know what I mean, the relationships that could have been catastrophic, for example; the baby trapper female, or the secret cutter. Those are scary. Most of the time the bullets that get dodged have already left the gun. Boy have I had my share of those. This particular story is not one of those. This is a story about dodging a pre-shot bullet, I'll call it a slug, and that slugs name was...Stella #1.

     

          This story starts out like an 80's television series. I'm just going to put that out there. Here I was, a sixteen year old kid, my first semester in college. I had graduated high-school early and was given an ultimatum by my father. Go to college, or go to our churches institute. Because I felt the need to study something other than Bible I went to college. Sixteen years old, wide eyed for knowledge and hungry for excitement, I quickly made friends, female friends. Of course, most of them, nay all of them were quite older than I was, but that didn't matter to them. Some protected me like I was their little brother, while others threatened to rape and defile me. I believe some of them meant it. For the most part I kept myself pretty clear of the admirers, using the phrase: "I'm trying to focus on school right now, not relationships." I wish I would have kept that mentality. Anyway, my love for socializing and music came together with the group of friends I started hanging out with. Singing, dancing, carrying on and what not became the norm for me, which obviously attracted more female attention. I boldly staved them off until the day that I met Stella #1.

     

          Stella #1 was, to me, the closest embodiment of my favorite actress, Catherine Zeta Jones. The first time I saw her I imagined her with a sword in her hand, black mask across her eyes, wearing cowboy boots with the spurs. WITH THE SPURS!! Needless to say we hit it off like no girl I had ever known before, bold statement for a sixteen year old. She was easy to talk to, and she talked to me in front of people, unlike Beatrice who I'll tell you about later. Man, we really understood each other. So after knowing her for all of two weeks. I decided to pop the question. Not "THE QUESTION", but the other question, the lesser question, the "will you go out with me" question. The only problem now was, how to do it.

          To the learned person reading this, understand I had never verbally asked a girl out before.  So this was a big deal for me. I didn't want to use the same method I had used with Beatrice, write it on a piece of paper. I was growing up. I had to impress. So I did what came natural to me at the moment. I punked out and sang her a remixed Usher song on her answering machine when I knew she was at work. Nailed it! She loved it, said yes, showed all her friends and we lived happily ever after duh! FALSE! She did love it, said yes, and did show all her friends, but happily ever after only lasted 2 days. See to my surprise she already had a man back home, with whom she lived with. If that wasn't bad enough, he was coming to visit in a few weeks. So we "broke up" and I didn't feel too bad about it, and I was kind of rude when explaining that to her. I mean, to me she had a man, thanks for the honesty after we get together, but whatever I'm done with you. So we stopped talking and that was that. At least that's the way I perceived it. 

          To Stella #1 we could still be close, in fact, she was mad that we were not still close. This was evident by a conversation we had a month or so after the "breakup" in which she accused me of not hanging out anymore and not having feelings anymore for her. All of which were true. I had not realized before that point that it mattered to her. The only thing I knew was that it no longer mattered to me. 

                                               What Can I Learn from Stella #1

     
          First, I learn to take the time to really get to know someone before you get into a relationship with them. It is the "look before you leap" concept. If I would have slowed my raging hormones down, I could have determined the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. That would have saved the embarrassment on both parts, and most likely saved a friendship.

          Second, I learn to communicate exactly what your expectations and feeling are in the beginning and at the end of a relationship. You see, Stella #1 thought we could still have something, but I on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with her after she told me she had a man. If We would have talked about that as we ended our brief relationship, feelings could have been spared.

          Third, I learn that even though the other person may have hurt you or even ruined your mentality of them, they are still people. They still have feelings, whether or not you share them. Being rude does not have place even if it is warranted. Do not hesitate to be honest but, you don't have to be intentionally rude, and I was.






Well world that is the story of Stella #1, she wasn't the first girl I dated and she definitely isn't the last. Or this would be a very short blog series. I hope you like it. I appreciate your feedback positive and negative. I will respond to all your comments and concerns in this blog series. If it's negative I'll read it and respond, but doesn't mean I'll do anything about it lol. Well I hope you like it and can learn from my life.


Love ya world,
Vic

"The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil" - Introduction

Hey World

        Here it is the first installment of the book, it is introduction, to what promises to be an insightful and interesting journey through my memories and onto paper. I will be writing these one "story" at a time, hopefully I can do it weekly but I won't make any promises. I would appreciate your comments and input. Thanks everyone...enjoy!

                                                      Introduction

       Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women/girls I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. I have found that people often jump from relationship to relationship without considering the reasons, or "breakup factors" contributing to the failure of said relationship. If solutions to these "breakup factors" are not implemented, a person often ends up repeating the same mistakes and compiling them with new ones in a new relationship. This book, call it a memoir of sorts, is my attempt to correct my own mistakes. By looking into the mindset of a younger me; using hind site, which everyone knows is 20/20, I hope to see the error of my ways and prevent myself from making the same category of epic failure.
      
        All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy. I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. Some of them might recognize the stories and be offended by the content, to that I say write your own book. To the best of my ability, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

                                          

Love ya World!

The Weaker Sex

Hello World,

      Today, I want to talk to the men of the world about the women of the world. I want to talk to you specifically about the strength of women.

     No matter where you grow up or what your background is, as a male you grow up hearing that women are the weaker sex. What makes them the weaker sex? If you were to ask a group of men, boys, teenagers, just males period, what makes women the weaker sex, hands would shoot up all over the room and the first answer would be, physicality.Some guys think that women are physically weaker then men...... Idk about that one. I know girls that can bench press me benchpressing 200 pounds, so that answer seems a little fallible to me.

 Another answer they could give would be emotions.  They would say women are too emotional and emotions make them weak.(the hypothetical group thinks they've hit it on the head with this one and there is no way they could be proven wrong.) So, since that is the concensus of the group lets explore that.
    
      Ok so your dating a girl, you don't think she's gonna be long term, but she'll do right now. You don't treat her bad. In fact your a great guy to her and you treat her very well. In time you find some problems and things start to get annoying and you decide to leave. That is the end of your relationship. However, this situation isn't over. Looking down the road, you may be fine and she may seem fine, but let me assure you that damage was done. Because, the next guy that comes along could be a great guy, he could be the best thing that ever happened to her (at the time), but you know that diner where you used to take her? HE takes her there and all the memories of you start flooding back. Uhoh, now we have a problem, emotions are swelling and she starts to cry. He doesnt understand why this keeps happening and he gets tired of  it and does exactly what you did, he decides to leave. Now we have a real problem, now she's labeled as broken and tragic. She compiles more and more hurt onto her plate, maybe she has some daddy issues to go on top of you and the other guy issues. Maybe she has been physically or mentally abused and hasn't sought help for it, because she doesnt think she's worth it. WOAH, now she's crazy and every relationship she is in is a bad one. She settles for far less than she deserves, and is taken advantage of by everyone. (this is the part where the class gets quiet, and I ask the question, Is this what makes her the weaker vessel? Have her emotions crippled her and made her weak? At once I get a Unanimous yes.) WRONG! Guess what guy? Yeah you first guy. This is your fault. Her emotions havent made her weak. You have made her weak. Her scars arent because she's too fragile to handle loss. Its because you started a chain of hurt, and even though you were able to shake it off, she has been carrying it. The next guy came and left, leaving her with more to carry. The guy after that came and stockpiled more, daddy issues- more, abandonment issues- more. Do you see the cycle. She has been carrying it all. It's easier to be strong when your not carrying loads of baggage. You can run faster when your not weighted down. Does that make you stronger? No, it doesn't.
  
    See class, we as men need to be careful how we treat the women in our lives. We never know what damage we could do as a result of carelessness. We may think we are doing the right thing, even by her, but we are doing more than even we know. Thinking we can hook up with this girl and that one, or play with emotions just because we are good at it, and no reprocussions will accrue, is wrong. Because everytime we "take another one off the lot" she depreciates in value, maybe not to others but to herself. For guys coming into a relationship with a girl like this, you have a journey ahead of you. However, if you are determined and can sift through the baggage you may find a stronger women than even she thinks.

Class dismissed.
Vic

The Difference Between Girls & Guys in the Friend Zone

Hey World

How often do we say "guys will be guys", or "stop acting like a chick"? Do we even think about what we are saying? Have you ever thought about some of the behaviors of girls and guys, and what makes them different? I have, but what I've come to see is that we are the same. We just do things in different ways, yet still accomplish the same end.

For instance, Girls cry about guys being dogs and playing with girls hearts and emotions, while using them to get physical and emotion pleasure. (I put a period there because I'm stating a known fact.) The truth is, girls do the same thing. The difference being, girls use guys to give them that emotional security, to be that friend they can always count on. Either way, either gender, the relationship will go nowhere. It stops abruptly in the friend zone with no chance of upgrade, leaving someone stuck.

Guys in the friend zone

Guys in the friend zone are pathetic and sad to be around. They stay waiting for this one girl to love them, hoping and praying for the day she "comes to her senses." The whole time, they watch while she continues to date dirt bag after dirt bag. Here's the thing, they play their cards right they always say the sweetest things, and are always catching the girl when she falls. they are, if you will, the girls janitor; every time she messes up her life she is there to catch her and help clean her up.

 The whole time knowing he is going no where, but hoping he gets somewhere. She keeps breaking his heart every time she finds the new boyfriend, and every time she reminds him that he's a great guy friend. This guy will never get out of the friend zone unless he makes a drastic change and either some how, some way appeal to her or he becomes that dirt bag and looses the friendship all together. 

Girls in the friend zone

Girls play the friend zone a little different. girls in the friend zone are the best friends to have as well. This is because, guys need this friend a lot more than girls need their friend zone buddy. Guys need tis girl to tell them how to dress, to approve dates, hairstyles, music choices, and foods. Guys use these girls as dinner dates, secretaries, party planners, and on occasion physical scapegoats. Thing is this girl lets herself be that for this guy and complains only to her friends. She uses all the attention to her advantage, and takes "all she can get" from the "relationship", knowing that one day he is more likely to slip up and she will get more. 

Either way, its a sad state to be in, knowingly or unknowingly, the friend zone does nothing but demoralize the other person. So how do we fix this?

#1 Confess: telling the other person how you feel is key to getting out of the friend zone

#2 Accept: if the person does not feel the same way about you, accept that

#3 Act: Realize that you have two choices and only you can make them. You can either move on and pull yourself completely away from the friendship, or you can continue as friends and bury your feelings

For those who are putting people in the friend zone, remember that its not about you. You can find that feeling of self worth and love anywhere but toying with another's feelings and emotions is not cool. It does nothing but damage and hurt the other person. It can also damage any future relationship you may have. Do your best to eradicate the friend zone parking in your life.

Remember world,

No parking in the friend zone.

              -Vic

You Can't Date My Daughter Because Your Black

Hey World
Currently I'm mad. Why am I mad? I'm mad because of people who call themselves Christians continue to be the very opposite of the word when it comes to racial matters involved with marriage. I want to start out by saying that NOWHERE in my Bible does it say that inter racial marriage is wrong. What Vic? What about the whole be ye not unequally yoked thing? Negative ghost rider read the rest of the verse...It goes on to say together with unbelievers...meaning unsaved people..see most people want to quote that verse and forget the last part.  I say OK forget the last part but remember this. We live in AMERICA, land of the free and home of the brave. The land in which our founding fathers penned the very words " We believe that all men were created equal." This concept has been fought for and defended throughout the years as Americans so now today we stand and say without scruples that ALL men were created EQUAL. So from a Biblical and political stand point that argument is Faulty! So bigot Christian you haven't convinced me...Next argument!! Well the Gospel was only given to the Jews and not the Gentiles.... Well that's because the Jews were God's chosen people...next argument. Well the Samaritans were half breeds and even Jesus didn't  share the gospel with them. OK once again... the gospel was given for the Jews only..Are you a Jew? No!!!

 OK, so now that your Biblically proven wrong, the argument becomes a social issue. I know when this particular thing happened to me, one of the excuses was, "the other (extended) members of our family wont like it." I also heard the excuse that "the children will face too much adversity from society and it would be too hard for them".For real???? The world Loves mixed kids. Everybody wants to be a mixed kid. Diversity amplifies not identifies!..Just excuses to say no, he's black and I'm semi- racist. You see you can be friends but you can't date? Are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ? Why is there such bigotry in today's churches? You want to preach fire and brimstone and running from sin but you hold sin in your heart in the form of racism. Why is it OK for me as a black man to know the same God you do, Go to the same church You do, Sit in the same pew, but not date your daughter because of my color? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

  Like I said before this happened to me a couple of years ago, and I wasn't prepared to handle it. It honestly tore me apart. those who were around then can testify that I wasn't the same person after that. Now it's happening to others who are close to me and it upsets me. I am currently dating a Filipino girl she is amazing I couldn't ask for better, but to those who are getting denied their chance at happiness because of race here is my advice.

#1. Educate yourself...know what you believe and why you believe it. Don't allow yourself to be convinced that you are in the wrong because of your creed or color.

#2. Realize that it isn't you, its them...If people actually took the time to get to know you as a person they may like you, they may not, but at least they took the chance to get passed your appearance, and got to know the real you.

#3. Stand up for yourself....trust me if you don't you will regret it. Even if you lose the relationship just knowing that you spoke your mind and you showed them you disagreed will take you a long way. You will feel better about yourself knowing you did everything you could.

#4. If the other party isn't willing to fight for you, say your piece and leave. Do not be the only one fighting for your right to love. It has to be a group effort. If the other party isn't interested in fighting with you don't go to war. State your belief and leave the battlefield if not you will only injure yourself more.

It saddens me that the people who are supposed to be Christ-like are the people who often inflict the most hurt on their "brethren" This isn't right guys. Not for any race

Its a sad day for Christendom World
               -Vic