Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Sandy
Hello World,
These things get harder and harder to write, because I've honestly lost interest in this project. However I must finish what I start, and that'e exactly what I will do.
Having said that, lets begin. Sandy oh Sandy, she was the one that I wanted, ooh ooh honey. If you didn't get the reference, step your pop culture game up. She was beautiful and smarter than she let others know. We looked great together. Were worked very well together, as friends. See, Sandy and I were almost too alike. We could finish each others sentences, break out in the same random song together, we even knew what the other was thinking and could convey that thought with a single look. We' had been that way since we first met. She was "my dude" I guess you could say. There was an obvious attraction there but we never acted on it, until it just became too much to handle anymore. Then with added outside pressures pushing us closer, we made that leap into a doomed relationship.
It started out rainbows and butterfly's, and that lasted for about a week. The long distance aspect of our relationship, did more to stifle than anything else. Because while our friendship was based on how much we knew each other, our relationship was ruined by the same factor. In spite of our long standing friendship, our relationship was purely physical. Soon, as I knew would happen, she lost interest, feigned love, and did her own thing. All of which I knew she was capable of, just didn't believe she would actually do to me. Needless to say our relationship ended as quick as it started and it threatened to ruin the friendship. In time our friendship mended, but there is still that feeling of regret on both parts.
The question comes to mind, "Was it all worth it? If the friendship is still in tact was the relationship worth it?" The answer is no. It wasn't worth the effort and emotional time we put into each other, and it wasn't fair for either of us. I guess we can both see that now, which is the reason we have remained friends. That and the fact that she hates to feel like she's lost. So she tries to keep me around.
What can I learn from Sandy
1. Never allow outside pressures to influence your decision on starting a relationship. With Sandy it was friends, family, and honestly curiosity that drove us together. It was the easy way out of dealing with emotions and feelings we both needed to steer clear of. we both knew it would end, so even talking about long term seemed strained and fake.
2. Long term relationships based on the physical will not work. Trust is important in any relationship especially a long distance relationship. without trust it is impossible to thrive. I am of firm belief that long distance can work, if the two involved are completely committed to each other.
3. Never think that it won't happen to you. I'm gonna leave that alone
So, I know I said I was loosing interest, but this one kind of sparked my interest again. So stay tuned for Betty, Lola, Serena, Blair, and Camille. Love ya world, till next time.
Vic
Monday, April 15, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Amelia
Helloooooo World,
Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.
This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.
There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.
The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.
What I learn from Amelia
1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.
2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.
3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.
Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.
This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.
There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.
The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.
What I learn from Amelia
1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.
2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.
3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
"The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil" - Introduction
Hey World
Here it is the first installment of the book, it is introduction, to what promises to be an insightful and interesting journey through my memories and onto paper. I will be writing these one "story" at a time, hopefully I can do it weekly but I won't make any promises. I would appreciate your comments and input. Thanks everyone...enjoy!
Introduction
Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women/girls I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. I have found that people often jump from relationship to relationship without considering the reasons, or "breakup factors" contributing to the failure of said relationship. If solutions to these "breakup factors" are not implemented, a person often ends up repeating the same mistakes and compiling them with new ones in a new relationship. This book, call it a memoir of sorts, is my attempt to correct my own mistakes. By looking into the mindset of a younger me; using hind site, which everyone knows is 20/20, I hope to see the error of my ways and prevent myself from making the same category of epic failure.
All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy. I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. Some of them might recognize the stories and be offended by the content, to that I say write your own book. To the best of my ability, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.
Love ya World!
Monday, February 27, 2012
You Can't Date My Daughter Because Your Black
Hey World
Currently I'm mad. Why am I mad? I'm mad because of people who call themselves Christians continue to be the very opposite of the word when it comes to racial matters involved with marriage. I want to start out by saying that NOWHERE in my Bible does it say that inter racial marriage is wrong. What Vic? What about the whole be ye not unequally yoked thing? Negative ghost rider read the rest of the verse...It goes on to say together with unbelievers...meaning unsaved people..see most people want to quote that verse and forget the last part. I say OK forget the last part but remember this. We live in AMERICA, land of the free and home of the brave. The land in which our founding fathers penned the very words " We believe that all men were created equal." This concept has been fought for and defended throughout the years as Americans so now today we stand and say without scruples that ALL men were created EQUAL. So from a Biblical and political stand point that argument is Faulty! So bigot Christian you haven't convinced me...Next argument!! Well the Gospel was only given to the Jews and not the Gentiles.... Well that's because the Jews were God's chosen people...next argument. Well the Samaritans were half breeds and even Jesus didn't share the gospel with them. OK once again... the gospel was given for the Jews only..Are you a Jew? No!!!
OK, so now that your Biblically proven wrong, the argument becomes a social issue. I know when this particular thing happened to me, one of the excuses was, "the other (extended) members of our family wont like it." I also heard the excuse that "the children will face too much adversity from society and it would be too hard for them".For real???? The world Loves mixed kids. Everybody wants to be a mixed kid. Diversity amplifies not identifies!..Just excuses to say no, he's black and I'm semi- racist. You see you can be friends but you can't date? Are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ? Why is there such bigotry in today's churches? You want to preach fire and brimstone and running from sin but you hold sin in your heart in the form of racism. Why is it OK for me as a black man to know the same God you do, Go to the same church You do, Sit in the same pew, but not date your daughter because of my color? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
Like I said before this happened to me a couple of years ago, and I wasn't prepared to handle it. It honestly tore me apart. those who were around then can testify that I wasn't the same person after that. Now it's happening to others who are close to me and it upsets me. I am currently dating a Filipino girl she is amazing I couldn't ask for better, but to those who are getting denied their chance at happiness because of race here is my advice.
#1. Educate yourself...know what you believe and why you believe it. Don't allow yourself to be convinced that you are in the wrong because of your creed or color.
#2. Realize that it isn't you, its them...If people actually took the time to get to know you as a person they may like you, they may not, but at least they took the chance to get passed your appearance, and got to know the real you.
#3. Stand up for yourself....trust me if you don't you will regret it. Even if you lose the relationship just knowing that you spoke your mind and you showed them you disagreed will take you a long way. You will feel better about yourself knowing you did everything you could.
#4. If the other party isn't willing to fight for you, say your piece and leave. Do not be the only one fighting for your right to love. It has to be a group effort. If the other party isn't interested in fighting with you don't go to war. State your belief and leave the battlefield if not you will only injure yourself more.
It saddens me that the people who are supposed to be Christ-like are the people who often inflict the most hurt on their "brethren" This isn't right guys. Not for any race
Its a sad day for Christendom World
-Vic
Currently I'm mad. Why am I mad? I'm mad because of people who call themselves Christians continue to be the very opposite of the word when it comes to racial matters involved with marriage. I want to start out by saying that NOWHERE in my Bible does it say that inter racial marriage is wrong. What Vic? What about the whole be ye not unequally yoked thing? Negative ghost rider read the rest of the verse...It goes on to say together with unbelievers...meaning unsaved people..see most people want to quote that verse and forget the last part. I say OK forget the last part but remember this. We live in AMERICA, land of the free and home of the brave. The land in which our founding fathers penned the very words " We believe that all men were created equal." This concept has been fought for and defended throughout the years as Americans so now today we stand and say without scruples that ALL men were created EQUAL. So from a Biblical and political stand point that argument is Faulty! So bigot Christian you haven't convinced me...Next argument!! Well the Gospel was only given to the Jews and not the Gentiles.... Well that's because the Jews were God's chosen people...next argument. Well the Samaritans were half breeds and even Jesus didn't share the gospel with them. OK once again... the gospel was given for the Jews only..Are you a Jew? No!!!
OK, so now that your Biblically proven wrong, the argument becomes a social issue. I know when this particular thing happened to me, one of the excuses was, "the other (extended) members of our family wont like it." I also heard the excuse that "the children will face too much adversity from society and it would be too hard for them".For real???? The world Loves mixed kids. Everybody wants to be a mixed kid. Diversity amplifies not identifies!..Just excuses to say no, he's black and I'm semi- racist. You see you can be friends but you can't date? Are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ? Why is there such bigotry in today's churches? You want to preach fire and brimstone and running from sin but you hold sin in your heart in the form of racism. Why is it OK for me as a black man to know the same God you do, Go to the same church You do, Sit in the same pew, but not date your daughter because of my color? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
Like I said before this happened to me a couple of years ago, and I wasn't prepared to handle it. It honestly tore me apart. those who were around then can testify that I wasn't the same person after that. Now it's happening to others who are close to me and it upsets me. I am currently dating a Filipino girl she is amazing I couldn't ask for better, but to those who are getting denied their chance at happiness because of race here is my advice.
#1. Educate yourself...know what you believe and why you believe it. Don't allow yourself to be convinced that you are in the wrong because of your creed or color.
#2. Realize that it isn't you, its them...If people actually took the time to get to know you as a person they may like you, they may not, but at least they took the chance to get passed your appearance, and got to know the real you.
#3. Stand up for yourself....trust me if you don't you will regret it. Even if you lose the relationship just knowing that you spoke your mind and you showed them you disagreed will take you a long way. You will feel better about yourself knowing you did everything you could.
#4. If the other party isn't willing to fight for you, say your piece and leave. Do not be the only one fighting for your right to love. It has to be a group effort. If the other party isn't interested in fighting with you don't go to war. State your belief and leave the battlefield if not you will only injure yourself more.
It saddens me that the people who are supposed to be Christ-like are the people who often inflict the most hurt on their "brethren" This isn't right guys. Not for any race
Its a sad day for Christendom World
-Vic
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