The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Sandy

Hello World,



          These things get harder and harder to write, because I've honestly lost interest in this project. However I must finish what I start, and that'e exactly what I will do.

          Having said that, lets begin. Sandy oh Sandy, she was the one that I wanted, ooh ooh honey. If you didn't get the reference, step your pop culture game up. She was beautiful and smarter than she let others know. We looked great together. Were worked very well together, as friends. See, Sandy and I were almost too alike. We could finish each others sentences, break out in the same random song together, we even knew what the other was thinking and could convey that thought with a single look. We' had been that way since we first met. She was "my dude" I guess you could say. There was an obvious attraction there but we never acted on it, until it just became too much to handle anymore. Then with added outside pressures pushing us closer, we made that leap into a doomed relationship.

          It started out rainbows and butterfly's, and that lasted for about a week. The long distance aspect of our relationship, did more to stifle than anything else. Because while our friendship was based on how much we knew each other, our relationship was ruined by the same factor. In spite of our long standing friendship, our relationship was purely physical. Soon, as I knew would happen, she lost interest, feigned love, and did her own thing. All of which I knew she was capable of, just didn't believe she would actually do to me. Needless to say our relationship ended as quick as it started and it threatened to ruin the friendship. In time our friendship mended, but there is still that feeling of regret on both parts.

          The question comes to mind, "Was it all worth it? If the friendship is still in tact was the relationship worth it?" The answer is no. It wasn't worth the effort and emotional time we put into each other, and it wasn't fair for either of us. I guess we can both see that now, which is the reason we have remained friends. That and the fact that she hates to feel like she's lost. So she tries to keep me around.

                                                          What can I learn from Sandy

           1. Never allow outside pressures to influence your decision on starting a relationship. With Sandy it was friends, family, and honestly curiosity that drove us together. It was the easy way out of dealing with emotions and feelings we both needed to steer clear of. we both knew it would end, so even talking about long term seemed strained and fake.

           2. Long term relationships based on the physical will not work. Trust is important in any relationship especially a long distance relationship. without trust it is impossible to thrive. I am of firm belief that long distance can work, if the two involved are completely committed to each other.

           3. Never think that it won't happen to you. I'm gonna leave that alone

         




          So, I know I said I was loosing interest, but this one kind of sparked my interest again. So stay tuned for Betty, Lola, Serena, Blair, and Camille. Love ya world, till next time.

Vic

The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Amelia

Helloooooo World,


          Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.

          This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.

          There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.

          The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.



                                                          What I learn from Amelia

1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.



2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.


3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.


         

The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Beatrice

Hey World,

          Every story has a beginning, a starting line, a gun blast, the fateful even that changes life as we know it, and this is mine. The first girl, I ever dated, like officially dated. Well, this is my first attempt at least. I could drag out this first paragraph to be structurally sound and feel better about myself, but I am dying to tell you this ridiculous story so I will begin. (See what I did there?)

          Oh the joys of being young and stupid. That is how I will preface this chapter, because that is exactly what it was, young stupidity. There was a time when I was oblivious to every female advance, every "she likes you" hehe, and every note passed. It was kind of pathetic really, but that was how I was. I mean hey, I was 15. Anyway, I kind of just walked around in oblivion happy and complete. Then I met Beatrice.

          At first, I wanted nothing to do with the girl we will call Beatrice. Yes, she was "cute", ok honestly she was beautiful, but I wanted nothing to do with her because my eyes were set on someone else at the time. I ignored Beatrice, and for the most part, barely had conversation with her. I never planned on ever crossing the friendship barrier with her. Apparently, Beatrice had other intentions. After a cruel twist of events like I like to call parental intervention, the girl I had my eyes set on was no longer an option for me. Since she was a dead option, I started to notice the other live options available to me. Some more appealing than others, but none more apparent than Beatrice. See Beatrice liked me and made everyone else aware of it. It started to become clear that I was the only one who hadn't noticed it before. Like the young stupid idiot I was, I started to like the attention, started listening to my horny peers, and started toying with the option of Beatrice. The problem was, Beatrice was vocal about her "like" for me to everyone but me. Apparently she talked about me all the time, she also had pictures, and things of mine, like candy wrappers and things like that. She would talk to everyone but me. Every time I would attempt to strike up conversation with Beatrice, all she would say was hey. No joke she could barely get off 3 words in front of me. This type of conversation, while later on in life was partial inspiration for a song, was in hind sight idiotic and I should have ran from it, but being the before mentioned stupid, young, child, I did not. It was honestly annoying, but I was intrigued, and determined to get to know her better. So I gave her my phone number, and surprise she could talk for hours over the phone but still no words in person.

          Time passed and many moons and overnight phone conversations later, Beatrice grew on me and I decided to ask her out. So being the young stupid kid I was I wrote it on a piece of paper and gave it to her. Of course she wrote back because the only thing she could seem to say was my name.  Victor
Perry Marshall (the second), every time I saw her that was the only thing I could get out of her, but as soon as I call her we could talk forever. So as most kids who rack up huge phone bills find out. my parents didn't like my phone habits so they took my phone. That meant, no conversation ever with Beatrice, and soon she slips me another piece of paper, saying we were broken up, and she had found someone else at school. Finally! I was surprised it had lasted that long. It was the weirdest relationship I ever had, because we barely had one. Funny thing is I saw her again almost ten years later, and all she could say was " Hi Victor Perry Marshall (the second)" Haha, disaster averted!



                                                        What I Learn From Beatrice

          First, peer advice is not always best, Take time to actually want to be in the relationship on your own, because your peers won't be in the relationship, you will. If I would have stuck to my original thoughts, this ridiculous relationship would never have happened

          Second, communication is very important. I could not stand the fact that Beatrice couldn't talk to me. It was that star struck, your important, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you mentality, that I hate so much. While I deserve to be treated with respect I'm also human and nobody important. I can't stand that type of girl, especially if she's my girlfriend. It just made me more apt to talk to anybody and everybody and not be closed off to girls I wouldn't ever see myself dating.

          Third, It shows me not to drag a hopeless thing on just to be in a relationship. I'm glad I learned that lesson early, because it could have bit me later on.  Beatrice should have ended before it started and I let it go just to say that I was in a relationship, which I tried to hide as much as possible anyway. See young and stupid.




          World, this is just the beginning of the craziness that was and is my dating life. It gets more interesting I guarantee it. If you enjoy it and have questions or comments please feel free to leave a comment and I will respond and answer them for you.

Till next time
VICTOR PERRY MARSHALL (THE SECOND)

The Love of Women : The Root of All My Evil - Stella #1

Hello World,

          Everyone anyone has ever known, if they are honest with themselves, can look back at the bullets they've dodged. Not literal bullets, but figurative, imaginary, life changing bullets. You know what I mean, the relationships that could have been catastrophic, for example; the baby trapper female, or the secret cutter. Those are scary. Most of the time the bullets that get dodged have already left the gun. Boy have I had my share of those. This particular story is not one of those. This is a story about dodging a pre-shot bullet, I'll call it a slug, and that slugs name was...Stella #1.

     

          This story starts out like an 80's television series. I'm just going to put that out there. Here I was, a sixteen year old kid, my first semester in college. I had graduated high-school early and was given an ultimatum by my father. Go to college, or go to our churches institute. Because I felt the need to study something other than Bible I went to college. Sixteen years old, wide eyed for knowledge and hungry for excitement, I quickly made friends, female friends. Of course, most of them, nay all of them were quite older than I was, but that didn't matter to them. Some protected me like I was their little brother, while others threatened to rape and defile me. I believe some of them meant it. For the most part I kept myself pretty clear of the admirers, using the phrase: "I'm trying to focus on school right now, not relationships." I wish I would have kept that mentality. Anyway, my love for socializing and music came together with the group of friends I started hanging out with. Singing, dancing, carrying on and what not became the norm for me, which obviously attracted more female attention. I boldly staved them off until the day that I met Stella #1.

     

          Stella #1 was, to me, the closest embodiment of my favorite actress, Catherine Zeta Jones. The first time I saw her I imagined her with a sword in her hand, black mask across her eyes, wearing cowboy boots with the spurs. WITH THE SPURS!! Needless to say we hit it off like no girl I had ever known before, bold statement for a sixteen year old. She was easy to talk to, and she talked to me in front of people, unlike Beatrice who I'll tell you about later. Man, we really understood each other. So after knowing her for all of two weeks. I decided to pop the question. Not "THE QUESTION", but the other question, the lesser question, the "will you go out with me" question. The only problem now was, how to do it.

          To the learned person reading this, understand I had never verbally asked a girl out before.  So this was a big deal for me. I didn't want to use the same method I had used with Beatrice, write it on a piece of paper. I was growing up. I had to impress. So I did what came natural to me at the moment. I punked out and sang her a remixed Usher song on her answering machine when I knew she was at work. Nailed it! She loved it, said yes, showed all her friends and we lived happily ever after duh! FALSE! She did love it, said yes, and did show all her friends, but happily ever after only lasted 2 days. See to my surprise she already had a man back home, with whom she lived with. If that wasn't bad enough, he was coming to visit in a few weeks. So we "broke up" and I didn't feel too bad about it, and I was kind of rude when explaining that to her. I mean, to me she had a man, thanks for the honesty after we get together, but whatever I'm done with you. So we stopped talking and that was that. At least that's the way I perceived it. 

          To Stella #1 we could still be close, in fact, she was mad that we were not still close. This was evident by a conversation we had a month or so after the "breakup" in which she accused me of not hanging out anymore and not having feelings anymore for her. All of which were true. I had not realized before that point that it mattered to her. The only thing I knew was that it no longer mattered to me. 

                                               What Can I Learn from Stella #1

     
          First, I learn to take the time to really get to know someone before you get into a relationship with them. It is the "look before you leap" concept. If I would have slowed my raging hormones down, I could have determined the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. That would have saved the embarrassment on both parts, and most likely saved a friendship.

          Second, I learn to communicate exactly what your expectations and feeling are in the beginning and at the end of a relationship. You see, Stella #1 thought we could still have something, but I on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with her after she told me she had a man. If We would have talked about that as we ended our brief relationship, feelings could have been spared.

          Third, I learn that even though the other person may have hurt you or even ruined your mentality of them, they are still people. They still have feelings, whether or not you share them. Being rude does not have place even if it is warranted. Do not hesitate to be honest but, you don't have to be intentionally rude, and I was.






Well world that is the story of Stella #1, she wasn't the first girl I dated and she definitely isn't the last. Or this would be a very short blog series. I hope you like it. I appreciate your feedback positive and negative. I will respond to all your comments and concerns in this blog series. If it's negative I'll read it and respond, but doesn't mean I'll do anything about it lol. Well I hope you like it and can learn from my life.


Love ya world,
Vic

"The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil" - Introduction

Hey World

        Here it is the first installment of the book, it is introduction, to what promises to be an insightful and interesting journey through my memories and onto paper. I will be writing these one "story" at a time, hopefully I can do it weekly but I won't make any promises. I would appreciate your comments and input. Thanks everyone...enjoy!

                                                      Introduction

       Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women/girls I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. I have found that people often jump from relationship to relationship without considering the reasons, or "breakup factors" contributing to the failure of said relationship. If solutions to these "breakup factors" are not implemented, a person often ends up repeating the same mistakes and compiling them with new ones in a new relationship. This book, call it a memoir of sorts, is my attempt to correct my own mistakes. By looking into the mindset of a younger me; using hind site, which everyone knows is 20/20, I hope to see the error of my ways and prevent myself from making the same category of epic failure.
      
        All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy. I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. Some of them might recognize the stories and be offended by the content, to that I say write your own book. To the best of my ability, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

                                          

Love ya World!

The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil (snippett)

Hey World,
Here is a snippet of my book that I am writing entitled The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil . In this book I talk about all my exes, the way I saw them then, and the way I see them now. I also look at how I was good and bad, the things I did wrong and the things I failed to do. In some ways the book is a self critique, and self "bro-check", in others its a great true story written from my mind. Whatever way you take it, I hope you enjoy.

 Introduction

Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy.

  I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. However, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

Chapter 4

Stella # 1

                After Sheila I was single again for almost 9 months. That year I moved to Florida for college, I was 16 at the time and felt like the world was in my lap. I was in a new place with new friends, and the girl to guy ratio was 3:1. Need I say more? Now, early on in life I discovered that I loved music. In fact I loved singing and dancing, and I was pretty good at them both. I soon learned to play a real mediocre guitar. That’s when I discovered that if I sang and played the guitar it didn’t matter if it was good or not, girls loved it. So I get to college and I find friends who love to do what I do, sing and dance. We all started writing music together and hanging out frequently. We had our core group of friends, and those who would pop in every now and then. Being kind of full of ourselves like we were, we called them “groupies”, and that is how I met Stella #1.

 At first she was a groupie introduced to me by a friend of mine. I knew right away that I liked her, because to me she looked like Catherine Zeta Jones, my favorite actress of all time. 

(Let us pause and take a moment from the book to honor CZJ)

(mmmmmm... now lets get back to the story, but first... 

                                                                                                                                   ....lol, gets me everytime so funny,  watch workaholics for the reference!)
               


So, I and the CZJ look alike, Stella #1, started hanging out every day.  I started noticing that I was neglecting my other friends more to hang out with her, so I brought her around them. They seemed to like her enough, and then I started noticing I was neglecting other things, like school and exercise. Both of which are not very important to a 16 year old college kid, so I just kept neglecting them. It happened really fast, I spent close to a month with Stella #1 just hanging out, learning her and letting her learn me.  That’s when it hit me. I wanted to date this girl. I would never be able to ask her out to her face, so what did I do? Did I send her a note?  Did I write her a letter? No, I was a maturing man I didn’t revert back to the methods I previously used. So, I sang to her. Yes, I sang to her, but not to her face. I was smart and I called her room phone when I knew she was in class......

 ...What can I learn from Stella #1

                The time me and Stella #1 spent together, added on to a lesson I had previously learned.  Communication is the key to any relationship, but if the truth is not what is being communicated, the conversation is useless.  We talked all the time, but our conversations were never about anything of true value.  I should have looked into her background and history. I needed to know those things in order to properly be her boyfriend. I needed to know things about her, just like she needed to know things about me as well, things like I hate being lied to.

Stella #1 also taught me to take more time to let a person’s true self come out before you decide to jump into a relationship.  I look back and wonder if this would have all came out if I wouldn’t have asked her out. If I would have given it time, what would the outcome have been?

*Obviously there is more to the story which was left out to keep your interest, however the book is in the process of being written and I do hope you all enjoy the story of my life*

Love Ya World,
-Vic

SWAG!!!

Hello World, 
SWAG! God I hate that word. Do you know why I hate it? I hate it because everybody uses it. I hate it because I forget what I used to say before I started using it. He's got swag, she's got swag, we've got swag, What is SWAG? I forget what it is. I forget what word it deleted from the dictionary in order for us to start using it. Thus my issue with the word swag and other words like it. They have become pop culture catch phrases that eliminate the need for vocabulary. Now a days people who speak well are considered dull or nerdy, because they are educated. Well, READ A BOOK and you just might be just as knowledgeable.


The English language is the dirtiest classless language in the modern world. Why is that? Not, because its spoken by many, but because its lost its originality. We use words like toilet paper one minute its a good word, gets the job done, then we find another fluffier easier word and forget there even was an origin in the first place. OK, probably not the best example but seriously, how many times do you use words that are termed "slang" because you cant find a better word to say? I challenge you to find a better word the next time you want to saw swag, or bling, or tight. I submit to you There is always a better word!!!

Till next time my swagged out partners in crime
                                    Vic