The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Carolyn

Hey World Hey, 

          Carolyn, when I met her I was blown away. It was like a breath of fresh air. The light finally came on at the end of the tunnel. My wings were full grown, I could finally take flight, and every other cliche you can think of. It was almost perfect, and I say almost because there were a few issues from the start. Issues like ex boyfriend drama, previous psychiatric battles, daddy drama, and ex baby issues. Oh and did I mention she had a boyfriend at the that time. ( Just by reading that paragraph you can already tell that the what I learned portion of this chapter is extensive.) Nevertheless this girl was amazing. She didn't hide her past, but she didn't glorify it either. It was as if she accepted it and had moved on from all of those issues. I was instantly hooked by her down to earth persona. It was refreshing to meet a girl so cool. However since she had a boyfriend, and I wasn't about to step on his toes. I kept all notions of my feelings free from her radar. It wasn't hard to do because she was oblivious. She knew very little about me. 

          Well needless to say a short time after we met she broke up with her boyfriend, (go figure huh) and not long after that we were "talking". We  were both very into each other and we might as well have dated, but we were both trying to give her a respectable time to "get over" her last relationship., or so I thought. Well after a tear filled conversation about how I didn't want to be serious and how she felt neglected I asked her out. (don't judge me to the end) We dated for a month or so, things were good in fact they were beautiful. Everything was looking like forever was in the distance. Then slowly but surely the issues, that I thought in the beginning were taken care of, started to creep out and come between us. Now in all fairness I had my own situations with work and school going on that kind of got in the way as well. You know the natural things like work, school, money, those kind of issues. Things that could cause problems with any relationship. That being said, things got really tense at times, they were really awesome as well, but it seemed the deeper we got into the relationship the more the bad outweighed the good. We tried to take the relationship in better directions multiple times. We would talk, we would decide on a direction or action, then we would try to go there. Eventually she wouldn't like the direction or I would cave and we would go right back to where we were. It just wasn't healthy physically or mentally for the both of us. 

          Believe it or not, I loved her, hard, even through all the drama. I loved her with all I had and I made sure everybody knew it. At times I couldn't even tell you why, but I did. I even had gone as far as to save money to set her grandmothers ring in a new setting. I was planning the proposal, had the jeweler picked out. It was forever for me. I thought I could deal with it all. You know all the issues, all the fighting, all the tears and late nights of worry and anger. I thought we could work it out together. However, our plans differed, our minds were totally on two separate plains. So after a lot of fighting, bickering, and confusion we broke up. I believe it was for the best. At first I didn't think it would happen. I never wished it to happen but it did. It was hard at first. It's supposed to be hard. Not gonna lie, I cried the first day. But; I took a step back to evaluate myself and realized that it was absolutely the best thing for me. I used to think she was the best thing for me. Funny how that works out.

                                                     What I learn from Carolyn

1. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, its not a dog but it may be a goose. Red flags are very important in any relationship. Red means stop. Think about what your going to do. Me, I didn't do that. I dived head first into a puddle and tried to roll around and hope I got wet. It was the dumbest thing I could have ever done. I should have never gotten into the relationship in the first place. I do not regret it, but if I could do it all over I wouldn't do it at all. it wasn't worth the stress. It looked like it was going to be perfect. It look like a great match, but looks can be deceiving. 

2. If a girl has issues with their father, she will have issues with you. Point blank. Nuff said. 

3. Protect your heart and your sanity. I give both of those things away too easily I always have. Its my personality. I can be so engrossed in a girl that nothing else matters. However that is a wrong way of thinking, because everything else matters. 

4. Lead her no matter what. If she doesn't want to follow than that's on her. Never be so afraid to lose her that you lose yourself and modify who you are and what you believe. I did that with her. i was so afraid of losing her that I tried to do whatever I could to keep her. Again, that's wrong thinking. No relationship is important enough for you to lose value in yourself. 

5. Take responsibility. You know blame is always thrown around after a breakup, but honestly this relationship was on me. It should have never happened. I knew better. I've been through enough on my own to see the red flags and heed them, but I didn't. I was too caught up in the emotional, physical, and personal benefits of the relationship that I didn't care. Its always nice to have somebody around, but it came at a high price. I should have made smarter decisions. 

          When it all boils down, yes, love is blind. The thing that most people forget is that you have 4 other senses to use when love has blinded you. Every one of them can help you see more clearly. I wish I would have payed more attention to my senses early on, because pain, stress, frustration, and loss, all suck simultaneously. 

Hope this helps somebody out there.

Love ya world,

            Vic 

          

The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Amelia

Helloooooo World,


          Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.

          This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.

          There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.

          The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.



                                                          What I learn from Amelia

1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.



2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.


3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.


         

The Love of Women : The Root of All My Evil - Stella #1

Hello World,

          Everyone anyone has ever known, if they are honest with themselves, can look back at the bullets they've dodged. Not literal bullets, but figurative, imaginary, life changing bullets. You know what I mean, the relationships that could have been catastrophic, for example; the baby trapper female, or the secret cutter. Those are scary. Most of the time the bullets that get dodged have already left the gun. Boy have I had my share of those. This particular story is not one of those. This is a story about dodging a pre-shot bullet, I'll call it a slug, and that slugs name was...Stella #1.

     

          This story starts out like an 80's television series. I'm just going to put that out there. Here I was, a sixteen year old kid, my first semester in college. I had graduated high-school early and was given an ultimatum by my father. Go to college, or go to our churches institute. Because I felt the need to study something other than Bible I went to college. Sixteen years old, wide eyed for knowledge and hungry for excitement, I quickly made friends, female friends. Of course, most of them, nay all of them were quite older than I was, but that didn't matter to them. Some protected me like I was their little brother, while others threatened to rape and defile me. I believe some of them meant it. For the most part I kept myself pretty clear of the admirers, using the phrase: "I'm trying to focus on school right now, not relationships." I wish I would have kept that mentality. Anyway, my love for socializing and music came together with the group of friends I started hanging out with. Singing, dancing, carrying on and what not became the norm for me, which obviously attracted more female attention. I boldly staved them off until the day that I met Stella #1.

     

          Stella #1 was, to me, the closest embodiment of my favorite actress, Catherine Zeta Jones. The first time I saw her I imagined her with a sword in her hand, black mask across her eyes, wearing cowboy boots with the spurs. WITH THE SPURS!! Needless to say we hit it off like no girl I had ever known before, bold statement for a sixteen year old. She was easy to talk to, and she talked to me in front of people, unlike Beatrice who I'll tell you about later. Man, we really understood each other. So after knowing her for all of two weeks. I decided to pop the question. Not "THE QUESTION", but the other question, the lesser question, the "will you go out with me" question. The only problem now was, how to do it.

          To the learned person reading this, understand I had never verbally asked a girl out before.  So this was a big deal for me. I didn't want to use the same method I had used with Beatrice, write it on a piece of paper. I was growing up. I had to impress. So I did what came natural to me at the moment. I punked out and sang her a remixed Usher song on her answering machine when I knew she was at work. Nailed it! She loved it, said yes, showed all her friends and we lived happily ever after duh! FALSE! She did love it, said yes, and did show all her friends, but happily ever after only lasted 2 days. See to my surprise she already had a man back home, with whom she lived with. If that wasn't bad enough, he was coming to visit in a few weeks. So we "broke up" and I didn't feel too bad about it, and I was kind of rude when explaining that to her. I mean, to me she had a man, thanks for the honesty after we get together, but whatever I'm done with you. So we stopped talking and that was that. At least that's the way I perceived it. 

          To Stella #1 we could still be close, in fact, she was mad that we were not still close. This was evident by a conversation we had a month or so after the "breakup" in which she accused me of not hanging out anymore and not having feelings anymore for her. All of which were true. I had not realized before that point that it mattered to her. The only thing I knew was that it no longer mattered to me. 

                                               What Can I Learn from Stella #1

     
          First, I learn to take the time to really get to know someone before you get into a relationship with them. It is the "look before you leap" concept. If I would have slowed my raging hormones down, I could have determined the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. That would have saved the embarrassment on both parts, and most likely saved a friendship.

          Second, I learn to communicate exactly what your expectations and feeling are in the beginning and at the end of a relationship. You see, Stella #1 thought we could still have something, but I on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with her after she told me she had a man. If We would have talked about that as we ended our brief relationship, feelings could have been spared.

          Third, I learn that even though the other person may have hurt you or even ruined your mentality of them, they are still people. They still have feelings, whether or not you share them. Being rude does not have place even if it is warranted. Do not hesitate to be honest but, you don't have to be intentionally rude, and I was.






Well world that is the story of Stella #1, she wasn't the first girl I dated and she definitely isn't the last. Or this would be a very short blog series. I hope you like it. I appreciate your feedback positive and negative. I will respond to all your comments and concerns in this blog series. If it's negative I'll read it and respond, but doesn't mean I'll do anything about it lol. Well I hope you like it and can learn from my life.


Love ya world,
Vic

"The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil" - Introduction

Hey World

        Here it is the first installment of the book, it is introduction, to what promises to be an insightful and interesting journey through my memories and onto paper. I will be writing these one "story" at a time, hopefully I can do it weekly but I won't make any promises. I would appreciate your comments and input. Thanks everyone...enjoy!

                                                      Introduction

       Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women/girls I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. I have found that people often jump from relationship to relationship without considering the reasons, or "breakup factors" contributing to the failure of said relationship. If solutions to these "breakup factors" are not implemented, a person often ends up repeating the same mistakes and compiling them with new ones in a new relationship. This book, call it a memoir of sorts, is my attempt to correct my own mistakes. By looking into the mindset of a younger me; using hind site, which everyone knows is 20/20, I hope to see the error of my ways and prevent myself from making the same category of epic failure.
      
        All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy. I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. Some of them might recognize the stories and be offended by the content, to that I say write your own book. To the best of my ability, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

                                          

Love ya World!

You Can't Date My Daughter Because Your Black

Hey World
Currently I'm mad. Why am I mad? I'm mad because of people who call themselves Christians continue to be the very opposite of the word when it comes to racial matters involved with marriage. I want to start out by saying that NOWHERE in my Bible does it say that inter racial marriage is wrong. What Vic? What about the whole be ye not unequally yoked thing? Negative ghost rider read the rest of the verse...It goes on to say together with unbelievers...meaning unsaved people..see most people want to quote that verse and forget the last part.  I say OK forget the last part but remember this. We live in AMERICA, land of the free and home of the brave. The land in which our founding fathers penned the very words " We believe that all men were created equal." This concept has been fought for and defended throughout the years as Americans so now today we stand and say without scruples that ALL men were created EQUAL. So from a Biblical and political stand point that argument is Faulty! So bigot Christian you haven't convinced me...Next argument!! Well the Gospel was only given to the Jews and not the Gentiles.... Well that's because the Jews were God's chosen people...next argument. Well the Samaritans were half breeds and even Jesus didn't  share the gospel with them. OK once again... the gospel was given for the Jews only..Are you a Jew? No!!!

 OK, so now that your Biblically proven wrong, the argument becomes a social issue. I know when this particular thing happened to me, one of the excuses was, "the other (extended) members of our family wont like it." I also heard the excuse that "the children will face too much adversity from society and it would be too hard for them".For real???? The world Loves mixed kids. Everybody wants to be a mixed kid. Diversity amplifies not identifies!..Just excuses to say no, he's black and I'm semi- racist. You see you can be friends but you can't date? Are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ? Why is there such bigotry in today's churches? You want to preach fire and brimstone and running from sin but you hold sin in your heart in the form of racism. Why is it OK for me as a black man to know the same God you do, Go to the same church You do, Sit in the same pew, but not date your daughter because of my color? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

  Like I said before this happened to me a couple of years ago, and I wasn't prepared to handle it. It honestly tore me apart. those who were around then can testify that I wasn't the same person after that. Now it's happening to others who are close to me and it upsets me. I am currently dating a Filipino girl she is amazing I couldn't ask for better, but to those who are getting denied their chance at happiness because of race here is my advice.

#1. Educate yourself...know what you believe and why you believe it. Don't allow yourself to be convinced that you are in the wrong because of your creed or color.

#2. Realize that it isn't you, its them...If people actually took the time to get to know you as a person they may like you, they may not, but at least they took the chance to get passed your appearance, and got to know the real you.

#3. Stand up for yourself....trust me if you don't you will regret it. Even if you lose the relationship just knowing that you spoke your mind and you showed them you disagreed will take you a long way. You will feel better about yourself knowing you did everything you could.

#4. If the other party isn't willing to fight for you, say your piece and leave. Do not be the only one fighting for your right to love. It has to be a group effort. If the other party isn't interested in fighting with you don't go to war. State your belief and leave the battlefield if not you will only injure yourself more.

It saddens me that the people who are supposed to be Christ-like are the people who often inflict the most hurt on their "brethren" This isn't right guys. Not for any race

Its a sad day for Christendom World
               -Vic

Thank Sweet, That Funk, That Gushy Stuff

Hey World Hey,
It's that time of the year again when lovers unite and singles suddenly become aware of their singleness. (like they haven't been aware all year... right) People get bitter because they have no one, and some desperately search for their new love for a day. It's comical to watch, and sweet as well. When two people express their love for each other during this time, everything they do is amplified and "brownie points" are added to both sides of the table. The best and most exiting love around this time is New Love. New lovers are often awkward and kind of comical around this time of year. Often they don't know what to do. Expressing love can be hard at times and it can easily be done the wrong way. So, for these new lovers out there, here are some pointers

#1 Guys: Something sweet Never fails guys, Chocolates are almost expected around this time of year. Be advised, A snickers bar does not constitute as chocolate. Go all out guys. Don't be cheap. Be creative. Anything chocolate dipped...It's over! Not only must you give sweets, You must BE SWEET as well. First timer's can even get away with borderline cheeziness...Use it while you can guys because the door closes on cheeziness after a while and it doesn't open until years later.

Girls: Let him be cheezy. He is trying hard to make you feel special this time of year. He's an awkward man. Cherish his effort. Even if you hate chocolate, fake it for him. You can tell him on St. Patrick's Day.

#2 Guys: That Funk....Dude...Dump that bottle of old spice out and buy you some smell-me-goods. Ladies Love it!!! Not only is perfume a good gift for her, during this time its also a good gift for yourself. Do yourself a favor and ALWAYS smell good. She will thank you. Hell, I'll thank you too my dude. Also, get her some flowers, Doesn't have to be roses...Be creative bro. Find out her favorite flower and get her a nice bouquet. You don't have to be cliche. You can be original, trust me she'll love that.

Girls....find that special smell you love on him and either hint him into it, or just buy it for him n say hey boy hey wear this. I Guarantee he will.

#3 Guys: That gushy stuff..Ok, his is the fun part. DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON THIS PART. Its not about what's in your wallet. It's about whats in your heart. Find out what that is, and exploit that feeling! Let it all out! Use your talents whatever they may be. Write her a poem, sing her a song. If you cant write or sing well, pull out that "free cheese pass". Men, you have to show her that you put time and effort into his. Even if it ultimately embarrasses her, the sheer fact that you spent the time and energy to do it, is a couple points for you. Cook her dinner and invite her over. Put post-it-notes in a path to a table outside with dinner waiting. DO SOMETHIN CRAZY!!! This is where you show her that you care bro. Give her 100% of your time. Put your phone away, Turn off your television. Close your computer and stop reading my blog........Not right now you idiot!......show her that she's the most important person in the world. Because at this moment, no one and nothing else matters.

Girls: This moment for him is a crucial one. Enjoy it. Swoon, melt, allow him to take you to that magical place in your heart and mind where every girl feels like a Disney princess. Even if it didn't come out exactly perfect. acknowledge his effort and reward him accordingly.


Now by no means is this fool proof. Its not even going to work for everyone, but it pretty close to working so keep at it and you'll get it. Love is a daily thing it grows as you do. This time of year is just a way to remind her that you haven't forgotten that she's important......and for all you singles out there trippin...stop hatin!!!



Enjoy that sweet, that funk, and that gushy stuff, World
                          Vic

Victorology 101 : Attraction, Attention, Affection

Hello Again World,

OK as I promised, here is a deeper look into me. Depending on how this goes I'm going continue posting these types of blogs to let you see into my soul (without the vinegar strokes) or at least into my mind. This blog will be a "getting to know you" blog (c'mon everybody sing the song)

Now that I've subjected you to that lets get down to business.
So.. I'm often asked what draws me to a certain girl or how do I go from like to love with someone. The question is usually phrased " Vic, what did you see in her?" After myriads of "around the bush" answers I realized I never really thought about it before..until NOW...Class is in session, lesson one..

Attraction

It has been said, " The way into a man's heart is through his stomach" For me personally,  If all you do is get into my stomach, your getting digested with everything else in there, and like the food I eat I will use which parts I can and then get rid of the rest. "Wow, Vic that sounds harsh!!" I know, I know, and it isn't meant to be done on purpose, that is just how the stomach works. I don't pick and choose which foods I can reserve and which nutrients I throw out. (Are you catching the metaphor) I don't need you to cook for me. I can do that by myself. In fact I would love to cook for you. You don't have to slave around me and serve me like I'm somebody special...neh!
OK then Vic, how do I get to your heart? With your smile Sweety!!! The Beibs said it perfectly, When you smile, I smile. If she has me smiling and laughing all the time. She's a shoe in for Mrs. Marshall. Now, Obviously there are other factors that may seem shallow to you if I said them, but c'mon for real you have to be able to see yourself in a picture with that person and not be ashamed. But honestly a good smile and great laugh trumps a lot of the shallow idiosyncrasies I might have. If you want me to be attracted to you...Get me smiling with your smile....lesson two

 Attention

Once you have me smiling, you now have my attention because I want to see you smile more! (Are you getting how this works) It gets to the point where I do things on purpose now to make you smile, I put my self out there with some of the dumbest things ever just because I know that when I do, you light up. Be it a stupid joke or a dumb song or just everyday conversation. I now want to make you smile because you've made me smile. You now have my attention.....lesson three

Affection

This is honestly my favorite part. Because now, not only am I attracted to you, but you also you have my attention. this is where I start to think about you ALL the time, I'm tryna catch a glimpse of you around town. I start using my ninja skills to learn the hidden secrets about you that you wont tell me. I'm Paying so much attention to you that I'm falling for you. At first, I was probably "feeling" you, but a "touch" can be brushed off easily. Now...Right Now...THIS RIGHT HERE....is different. I've fallen for that smile and the person behind it. As some of my friends would say "It's a wrap" "It's a done dada" I'm caught. Oh, and please don't ever let me see you not smiling (a.k.a. sad or crying), because that tears me up and fuels me with a burning desire to get that smile back on your face. It's crazy. It's how I'm programmed and there isn't anything I can do about it. Some of you have seen this in action and you know I'm speaking truth. I can't help it. It could be the most destructive thing ever but, hey, she followed the steps and BAM! 'caught!

I usually try and proof read these before I post them, well sometimes, but I know I've given a lot of information that could be used against me by those who seek evil, so I will not do that. I'll just up my ninja skills to combat those evil doers..ok that was dumb, so I'm gonna end this with none other than the BEIBS!!

Love Ya World and keep smiling!

     VIC.

Single and Loving Every Minute of It.

Hey World,
        So lately, this topic has been coming up quite a bit in my life. Whether in church, TV, or conversations with friends, the topic of being single has been popping its confusing head up everywhere. So in Vic-type-fashion I will address it.
I was recently asked if I ever get the "sick of being single feeling"...My answer is this, have I ever sat alone by myself wishing I had someone to sit and chat with?...Yes I have, Its natural to, but do I wish I wasn't single? No! However as usual Ive over thought and metaphoricized the whole discussion...and here it is. Ive had a bunch of relationship drama of my own. I know what its like to want a girlfriend, find a girl, and make her my girlfriend. I know what not single feels like. Which is why I say single feels so much better. You might say, "Vic, of course you think that your a young attractive guy". to that I say this....SO WHAT!!! Single isn't good because I can do more, Single is Great because while doing less, I can focus on getting to know myself and becoming a better me. See, when your in a relationship its all about the other person, you say you give them everything and are completely theirs. My question is. How can you give someone all of you when you dont even even know who all of you is? Have you ever truly spent time with yourself? Have you taken time to develop your own standards and opinions? Have you figured out your dreams and goals in life? Have you reached any of those goals?  Single people wonder why their single. They wonder why "no one wants them". Their Facebook statuses are all dark and emotional. Why? What is the point? Your just making more people not want you. Why, Because you don't even want yourself!! It has taken me a while to figure this out. I've been through strings of relationships, hardships, and unnecessary hurts to get to this point. One thing I have come to see is that, yes I may have a few things to offer, and no I can not fix every ones problems. However, I can fix my own problems and offer myself the best of me. There is nothing wrong with loving who you are and getting to know yourself before getting into a relationship.
     If I could make this plain and simple id say this. When you were younger, you wanted to drive so bad. Why? Because you wanted to go places and see new things, but your parents and the law said you couldn't drive yet, you were too young. Did they say that because of your age? No, It was because you weren't ready for everything that comes with driving. Safety, gas, money for gas, a job to make money, bills, responsibilities, you were not ready. So, you waited until you were ready and able to understand those things about yourself and the things around you. Only then were you allowed to drive. Relationships are the same way. You think your ready because you just want to go places and see new things. You haven't even even given thought to the parts of yourself that are vulnerable when you drive into a relationship, because you don't know those parts about yourself. That my friends is what single-hood is for. Take time to get to know yourself, what you want, and where you want to go in life, and not only will your single life be better and more fulfilling, but your dating/married life will also be that much better.


                                                  Just a thought World
                                                                   -Vic