Hey World,
So you know how you work really hard at something you won't see till later, and when you finally do see it, it blows you away? Well that is exactly what happened to me recently. I've been singing with this amazing chorale group called, Sacra/Profana, and even though its been a challenge its been so much fun. We recently shot a music video for a Jimmy Eat World song called CHASE THIS LIGHT..I think you guys should check it out.
Also check out my friends Bunnell Strings...
Sacra/Profana & Bunnell Strings - Chase This Light (a jimmy eat world cover)
thanks for the love World
Vic
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Sandy
Hello World,
These things get harder and harder to write, because I've honestly lost interest in this project. However I must finish what I start, and that'e exactly what I will do.
Having said that, lets begin. Sandy oh Sandy, she was the one that I wanted, ooh ooh honey. If you didn't get the reference, step your pop culture game up. She was beautiful and smarter than she let others know. We looked great together. Were worked very well together, as friends. See, Sandy and I were almost too alike. We could finish each others sentences, break out in the same random song together, we even knew what the other was thinking and could convey that thought with a single look. We' had been that way since we first met. She was "my dude" I guess you could say. There was an obvious attraction there but we never acted on it, until it just became too much to handle anymore. Then with added outside pressures pushing us closer, we made that leap into a doomed relationship.
It started out rainbows and butterfly's, and that lasted for about a week. The long distance aspect of our relationship, did more to stifle than anything else. Because while our friendship was based on how much we knew each other, our relationship was ruined by the same factor. In spite of our long standing friendship, our relationship was purely physical. Soon, as I knew would happen, she lost interest, feigned love, and did her own thing. All of which I knew she was capable of, just didn't believe she would actually do to me. Needless to say our relationship ended as quick as it started and it threatened to ruin the friendship. In time our friendship mended, but there is still that feeling of regret on both parts.
The question comes to mind, "Was it all worth it? If the friendship is still in tact was the relationship worth it?" The answer is no. It wasn't worth the effort and emotional time we put into each other, and it wasn't fair for either of us. I guess we can both see that now, which is the reason we have remained friends. That and the fact that she hates to feel like she's lost. So she tries to keep me around.
What can I learn from Sandy
1. Never allow outside pressures to influence your decision on starting a relationship. With Sandy it was friends, family, and honestly curiosity that drove us together. It was the easy way out of dealing with emotions and feelings we both needed to steer clear of. we both knew it would end, so even talking about long term seemed strained and fake.
2. Long term relationships based on the physical will not work. Trust is important in any relationship especially a long distance relationship. without trust it is impossible to thrive. I am of firm belief that long distance can work, if the two involved are completely committed to each other.
3. Never think that it won't happen to you. I'm gonna leave that alone
So, I know I said I was loosing interest, but this one kind of sparked my interest again. So stay tuned for Betty, Lola, Serena, Blair, and Camille. Love ya world, till next time.
Vic
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
What it is Life?
Hey World Hey,
Life. One small word, but yet it holds great meaning. Some understand it, and seem to cruise right along in it. Some struggle through and barely make it out. The Bible says life is "a vapor that appeareth for a little time, then vanisheth away." Popular culture says life is a Highway and I'm gonna ride it all night long. Pessimists say life is a B****, optimists say life is beautiful. It seems everyone has an opinion of what life is. That's easy to assess because everyone goes through life differently.
So honestly, I think people should form their own opinions about life, and do their best to live the best one you can.
That's it, love ya
Vic
Life. One small word, but yet it holds great meaning. Some understand it, and seem to cruise right along in it. Some struggle through and barely make it out. The Bible says life is "a vapor that appeareth for a little time, then vanisheth away." Popular culture says life is a Highway and I'm gonna ride it all night long. Pessimists say life is a B****, optimists say life is beautiful. It seems everyone has an opinion of what life is. That's easy to assess because everyone goes through life differently.
So honestly, I think people should form their own opinions about life, and do their best to live the best one you can.
That's it, love ya
Vic
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Carolyn
Hey World Hey,
Carolyn, when I met her I was blown away. It was like a breath of fresh air. The light finally came on at the end of the tunnel. My wings were full grown, I could finally take flight, and every other cliche you can think of. It was almost perfect, and I say almost because there were a few issues from the start. Issues like ex boyfriend drama, previous psychiatric battles, daddy drama, and ex baby issues. Oh and did I mention she had a boyfriend at the that time. ( Just by reading that paragraph you can already tell that the what I learned portion of this chapter is extensive.) Nevertheless this girl was amazing. She didn't hide her past, but she didn't glorify it either. It was as if she accepted it and had moved on from all of those issues. I was instantly hooked by her down to earth persona. It was refreshing to meet a girl so cool. However since she had a boyfriend, and I wasn't about to step on his toes. I kept all notions of my feelings free from her radar. It wasn't hard to do because she was oblivious. She knew very little about me.
Well needless to say a short time after we met she broke up with her boyfriend, (go figure huh) and not long after that we were "talking". We were both very into each other and we might as well have dated, but we were both trying to give her a respectable time to "get over" her last relationship., or so I thought. Well after a tear filled conversation about how I didn't want to be serious and how she felt neglected I asked her out. (don't judge me to the end) We dated for a month or so, things were good in fact they were beautiful. Everything was looking like forever was in the distance. Then slowly but surely the issues, that I thought in the beginning were taken care of, started to creep out and come between us. Now in all fairness I had my own situations with work and school going on that kind of got in the way as well. You know the natural things like work, school, money, those kind of issues. Things that could cause problems with any relationship. That being said, things got really tense at times, they were really awesome as well, but it seemed the deeper we got into the relationship the more the bad outweighed the good. We tried to take the relationship in better directions multiple times. We would talk, we would decide on a direction or action, then we would try to go there. Eventually she wouldn't like the direction or I would cave and we would go right back to where we were. It just wasn't healthy physically or mentally for the both of us.
Believe it or not, I loved her, hard, even through all the drama. I loved her with all I had and I made sure everybody knew it. At times I couldn't even tell you why, but I did. I even had gone as far as to save money to set her grandmothers ring in a new setting. I was planning the proposal, had the jeweler picked out. It was forever for me. I thought I could deal with it all. You know all the issues, all the fighting, all the tears and late nights of worry and anger. I thought we could work it out together. However, our plans differed, our minds were totally on two separate plains. So after a lot of fighting, bickering, and confusion we broke up. I believe it was for the best. At first I didn't think it would happen. I never wished it to happen but it did. It was hard at first. It's supposed to be hard. Not gonna lie, I cried the first day. But; I took a step back to evaluate myself and realized that it was absolutely the best thing for me. I used to think she was the best thing for me. Funny how that works out.
What I learn from Carolyn
1. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, its not a dog but it may be a goose. Red flags are very important in any relationship. Red means stop. Think about what your going to do. Me, I didn't do that. I dived head first into a puddle and tried to roll around and hope I got wet. It was the dumbest thing I could have ever done. I should have never gotten into the relationship in the first place. I do not regret it, but if I could do it all over I wouldn't do it at all. it wasn't worth the stress. It looked like it was going to be perfect. It look like a great match, but looks can be deceiving.
2. If a girl has issues with their father, she will have issues with you. Point blank. Nuff said.
3. Protect your heart and your sanity. I give both of those things away too easily I always have. Its my personality. I can be so engrossed in a girl that nothing else matters. However that is a wrong way of thinking, because everything else matters.
4. Lead her no matter what. If she doesn't want to follow than that's on her. Never be so afraid to lose her that you lose yourself and modify who you are and what you believe. I did that with her. i was so afraid of losing her that I tried to do whatever I could to keep her. Again, that's wrong thinking. No relationship is important enough for you to lose value in yourself.
5. Take responsibility. You know blame is always thrown around after a breakup, but honestly this relationship was on me. It should have never happened. I knew better. I've been through enough on my own to see the red flags and heed them, but I didn't. I was too caught up in the emotional, physical, and personal benefits of the relationship that I didn't care. Its always nice to have somebody around, but it came at a high price. I should have made smarter decisions.
When it all boils down, yes, love is blind. The thing that most people forget is that you have 4 other senses to use when love has blinded you. Every one of them can help you see more clearly. I wish I would have payed more attention to my senses early on, because pain, stress, frustration, and loss, all suck simultaneously.
Hope this helps somebody out there.
Love ya world,
Vic
Monday, April 15, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Amelia
Helloooooo World,
Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.
This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.
There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.
The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.
What I learn from Amelia
1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.
2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.
3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.
Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.
This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.
There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.
The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.
What I learn from Amelia
1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.
2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.
3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.
What Constitutes Failure?
Hey World,
The game of life is a tricky game to play. I know that's a very cliche thing to say, but its still remains true. You hear it all the time, people say " You win some, you lose some", as if it is just as acceptable to lose as it is to win. Makes me think, about the times I've "won" in life and the times I've "lost". Are they of equal significance? The answer is no, in fact a HUGE NO! I submit to you that losing, is better than winning....Wait! Let me finish before you freak out...I am saying that ,in life, you get more out of losing than you do winning. That is, if you apply yourself. Which is the constant problem for a a lot of people.
See when we lose we like to think of it as failing. I don't like to see it that way. Losing is life's way of telling you exactly what you need to do next time to make it better.I believe that failure is two things. First, failure is what happens when you refuse to acknowledge the tools that losing gave you. Its not that you simply don't learn from your loss, its that you refuse to acknowledge that you need to. The thing about losing is you can lose more than once and for more than one reason. This little nugget of "life's lessons" is hard to perceive, hence multiple mistakes, repeats, breakups, missed shots, and lost opportunities. Personal example: I've been in a few relationships, people would call them failed. In some ways I can see why, but if I apply the "loss lessons" ( as I will call them) would it all have been a failure? I like to think I've learned a lot from relationships about myself and what I need, dislike, can tolerate, and love, as well as how I react and function in certain situations. Relationships is only one are though. I remember a situation where I was playing a 3 on 3 basketball game. My team had already beaten the other team 2 games to none. We had a simple formula my teammate would drive the ball in, his father would set an off ball screen for me and my teammate would pass me the ball and I'd shoot the outside jumper. We would do this for at least 5 of the 11 points needed to win. Thing is, the other team caught on to the play and my shooting approach and blocked my shot every time I went up to shoot the ball. I became so frustrated that I stopped trying for the shot, and the other team won the game. What happened there was the other team applied the "loss lessons" and I Failed. We clearly had the skill to beat them for the third time, but I failed to adapt to the new challenges.
The second way I look at failure, is the refusal to apply what you've learned. You can clearly see that you need to change some things but you don't instead you move on to something different and continue to have mistakes, repeats, breakups, missed shots, and lost opportunities, plague your life. You think your done with it but over and over again it comes back. Why is that? It is because you didn't take the time necessary to apply those loss lessons. So over and over again no matter what you do its going to plague you. It's like this. If your shoes come untied and you fall, do you tuck them back in your shoes without tying them or do you tie them, before you get up? Its simply put in this manner but its a shame how many times we leave our shoes "untied but tucked" in life. I'm so guilty of this just neglecting the fact that I need to improve some area in my life before starting another venture. I think sometimes that its unrelated and won't affect me. WRONG! It always comes around through the side door and takes a big chunk out of my butt. I can't be mad though, I left it there and left the door open for it to sneak in.
So next time you lose at something or lose someone, remember that life is trying to teach you a lesson, One that could prevent you from further loss in the future and produce a win. More importantly, life is teaching you something that could prevent you from failure.
Till next time world
Vic
The game of life is a tricky game to play. I know that's a very cliche thing to say, but its still remains true. You hear it all the time, people say " You win some, you lose some", as if it is just as acceptable to lose as it is to win. Makes me think, about the times I've "won" in life and the times I've "lost". Are they of equal significance? The answer is no, in fact a HUGE NO! I submit to you that losing, is better than winning....Wait! Let me finish before you freak out...I am saying that ,in life, you get more out of losing than you do winning. That is, if you apply yourself. Which is the constant problem for a a lot of people.
See when we lose we like to think of it as failing. I don't like to see it that way. Losing is life's way of telling you exactly what you need to do next time to make it better.I believe that failure is two things. First, failure is what happens when you refuse to acknowledge the tools that losing gave you. Its not that you simply don't learn from your loss, its that you refuse to acknowledge that you need to. The thing about losing is you can lose more than once and for more than one reason. This little nugget of "life's lessons" is hard to perceive, hence multiple mistakes, repeats, breakups, missed shots, and lost opportunities. Personal example: I've been in a few relationships, people would call them failed. In some ways I can see why, but if I apply the "loss lessons" ( as I will call them) would it all have been a failure? I like to think I've learned a lot from relationships about myself and what I need, dislike, can tolerate, and love, as well as how I react and function in certain situations. Relationships is only one are though. I remember a situation where I was playing a 3 on 3 basketball game. My team had already beaten the other team 2 games to none. We had a simple formula my teammate would drive the ball in, his father would set an off ball screen for me and my teammate would pass me the ball and I'd shoot the outside jumper. We would do this for at least 5 of the 11 points needed to win. Thing is, the other team caught on to the play and my shooting approach and blocked my shot every time I went up to shoot the ball. I became so frustrated that I stopped trying for the shot, and the other team won the game. What happened there was the other team applied the "loss lessons" and I Failed. We clearly had the skill to beat them for the third time, but I failed to adapt to the new challenges.
The second way I look at failure, is the refusal to apply what you've learned. You can clearly see that you need to change some things but you don't instead you move on to something different and continue to have mistakes, repeats, breakups, missed shots, and lost opportunities, plague your life. You think your done with it but over and over again it comes back. Why is that? It is because you didn't take the time necessary to apply those loss lessons. So over and over again no matter what you do its going to plague you. It's like this. If your shoes come untied and you fall, do you tuck them back in your shoes without tying them or do you tie them, before you get up? Its simply put in this manner but its a shame how many times we leave our shoes "untied but tucked" in life. I'm so guilty of this just neglecting the fact that I need to improve some area in my life before starting another venture. I think sometimes that its unrelated and won't affect me. WRONG! It always comes around through the side door and takes a big chunk out of my butt. I can't be mad though, I left it there and left the door open for it to sneak in.
So next time you lose at something or lose someone, remember that life is trying to teach you a lesson, One that could prevent you from further loss in the future and produce a win. More importantly, life is teaching you something that could prevent you from failure.
Till next time world
Vic
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Stella #2
Hey world,
So I know I said I would post this tomorrow, but I had to get this out today!! So you know how there are those girls that give you all the signals and every inkling that they are attracted to you or that they like you? You know those girls, the ones that tell all their friends about you. They tell everyone how they feel about you, but you. Yea that was Stella #2. However, unlike Stella #1, Stella #2 couldn't speak to me in person at all! Well, I mean she would smile and continue conversation, but she didn't speak unless spoken to, at least not to me she didn't. It was a very quiet friendship (because we never dated), but man she just looked so good! UGH!! It was frustrating at times, but then again we were both kids, 17 years old, no knowledge of what a real relationship was going to be. All we knew was that we liked each other.
Thing is, she was smart. She said she didn't want a relationship until she had spent some serious time in school. Seeing as how we were both freshman at the time, I was OK with that. In fact, I respected it and was completely on board with it. You see, contrary to popular belief at the time.
I really liked her. Like a lot, a whole lot. It wasn't love, I had yet to figure out what that was, but to me it was pretty close, at that time. Like I said earlier I was a kid. I was dumb and inexperienced in the ways of women. I had no idea that what i thought was a good thing, wasn't anything at all.
Yea, as quick as it started, it ended. She just stopped talking to me one day. I never knew why, till this day, but hey, if it was that easy it wasn't meant to be. In all reality I probably did something to make her upset, or I said something or somebody else said something. Either way it was done. It didn't hurt me, it was just perplexing. I couldn't seem to figure out what I'd done wrong. That's what messed me up the most, not knowing. It was like someone coming up to you and smacking you in the face and you had no idea why. I raked my brain for months afterward trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. Eventually I just got over it....and yea that's the story of Stella #2.
So I know I said I would post this tomorrow, but I had to get this out today!! So you know how there are those girls that give you all the signals and every inkling that they are attracted to you or that they like you? You know those girls, the ones that tell all their friends about you. They tell everyone how they feel about you, but you. Yea that was Stella #2. However, unlike Stella #1, Stella #2 couldn't speak to me in person at all! Well, I mean she would smile and continue conversation, but she didn't speak unless spoken to, at least not to me she didn't. It was a very quiet friendship (because we never dated), but man she just looked so good! UGH!! It was frustrating at times, but then again we were both kids, 17 years old, no knowledge of what a real relationship was going to be. All we knew was that we liked each other.
Thing is, she was smart. She said she didn't want a relationship until she had spent some serious time in school. Seeing as how we were both freshman at the time, I was OK with that. In fact, I respected it and was completely on board with it. You see, contrary to popular belief at the time.
I really liked her. Like a lot, a whole lot. It wasn't love, I had yet to figure out what that was, but to me it was pretty close, at that time. Like I said earlier I was a kid. I was dumb and inexperienced in the ways of women. I had no idea that what i thought was a good thing, wasn't anything at all.
Yea, as quick as it started, it ended. She just stopped talking to me one day. I never knew why, till this day, but hey, if it was that easy it wasn't meant to be. In all reality I probably did something to make her upset, or I said something or somebody else said something. Either way it was done. It didn't hurt me, it was just perplexing. I couldn't seem to figure out what I'd done wrong. That's what messed me up the most, not knowing. It was like someone coming up to you and smacking you in the face and you had no idea why. I raked my brain for months afterward trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. Eventually I just got over it....and yea that's the story of Stella #2.
What I learn from Stella #2
#1 Establish a better foundation before you really commit to something. Now this could come off as having commitment issues, but it really isn't. It's being smart. It's choosing wisely to better yourself. It's having the mental fortitude to know whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with this person based on who they are, and what you can and cant live with. I believe that is exactly what Stella #2 did. She made those decisions for herself while I was too busy feeling. She was thinking.
#2 Talk about more than just your day. Really get to know the person, what makes them tick and click and cluck. these things are important. If there is no depth than when the tide comes its over.
(and the tide comes in daily)
(and the tide comes in daily)
#3 Spend time talking alone, without friends. If there is never a point that you can have one on one conversation. You will never really see that person for who they really are. Phone calls, emails, hand written letters (I know old school), all of these will help you have those intimate conversations without pushing the boundaries of comfort.
I guess if there is a nugget of wisdom in this it would be just to realize exactly what your getting into before you do it. If I would have realized this, it would have saved me a lot of trouble.
love ya world
Vic
Whats new in the world?
Hey world
Its been a while, but here I am. I have been pretty busy. Things have picked up in my life and it gets a little crowded sometimes, but boy is it fun. Lately I've been trying to be more social, because for a while I wasn't doing any of that mess lol. Work has just been too crazy!
I now work 2 & 1/2 hours away from my home, and my city San Diego. I miss it at times, but I'm home as much as I can be. For those who don't know, I am a respiratory therapist in a city called Indio, California.
I'm currently trying my best to get back to San Diego, Its just going to take a little work on my part. Which I'm totally down to do, and doing. But other than work, not much else has been going on. Just doing my thing, (which means sleeping and eating and working) but yeah, even my instagram posts have been boring. So you know I'm boring. Follow me still if you want @deceivingmocha same as my twitter account.
Oh before I forget, My brother and I put a new YouTube video up. Its a song i wrote when I was 18 I believe, I can't really remember which girl I wrote it about or for, but whatever its a good song.
I'll link it at the end.
Speaking of Girls, Tomorrow I will post "The Love of Women: the root of all my evil -Stella #2 and Ameila. Which are two separate posts guys don't get exited. They should be pretty fun to read as they are going to be fun to write.
Lastly, if you guys have questions or comments you would like to as leave them here or at my gmail @victor.marshall2@gmail.com
love ya world
dueces
Its been a while, but here I am. I have been pretty busy. Things have picked up in my life and it gets a little crowded sometimes, but boy is it fun. Lately I've been trying to be more social, because for a while I wasn't doing any of that mess lol. Work has just been too crazy!
I now work 2 & 1/2 hours away from my home, and my city San Diego. I miss it at times, but I'm home as much as I can be. For those who don't know, I am a respiratory therapist in a city called Indio, California.
I'm currently trying my best to get back to San Diego, Its just going to take a little work on my part. Which I'm totally down to do, and doing. But other than work, not much else has been going on. Just doing my thing, (which means sleeping and eating and working) but yeah, even my instagram posts have been boring. So you know I'm boring. Follow me still if you want @deceivingmocha same as my twitter account.
Oh before I forget, My brother and I put a new YouTube video up. Its a song i wrote when I was 18 I believe, I can't really remember which girl I wrote it about or for, but whatever its a good song.
I'll link it at the end.
Speaking of Girls, Tomorrow I will post "The Love of Women: the root of all my evil -Stella #2 and Ameila. Which are two separate posts guys don't get exited. They should be pretty fun to read as they are going to be fun to write.
Lastly, if you guys have questions or comments you would like to as leave them here or at my gmail @victor.marshall2@gmail.com
love ya world
dueces
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil - Beatrice
Hey World,
Every story has a beginning, a starting line, a gun blast, the fateful even that changes life as we know it, and this is mine. The first girl, I ever dated, like officially dated. Well, this is my first attempt at least. I could drag out this first paragraph to be structurally sound and feel better about myself, but I am dying to tell you this ridiculous story so I will begin. (See what I did there?)
Oh the joys of being young and stupid. That is how I will preface this chapter, because that is exactly what it was, young stupidity. There was a time when I was oblivious to every female advance, every "she likes you" hehe, and every note passed. It was kind of pathetic really, but that was how I was. I mean hey, I was 15. Anyway, I kind of just walked around in oblivion happy and complete. Then I met Beatrice.
At first, I wanted nothing to do with the girl we will call Beatrice. Yes, she was "cute", ok honestly she was beautiful, but I wanted nothing to do with her because my eyes were set on someone else at the time. I ignored Beatrice, and for the most part, barely had conversation with her. I never planned on ever crossing the friendship barrier with her. Apparently, Beatrice had other intentions. After a cruel twist of events like I like to call parental intervention, the girl I had my eyes set on was no longer an option for me. Since she was a dead option, I started to notice the other live options available to me. Some more appealing than others, but none more apparent than Beatrice. See Beatrice liked me and made everyone else aware of it. It started to become clear that I was the only one who hadn't noticed it before. Like the young stupid idiot I was, I started to like the attention, started listening to my horny peers, and started toying with the option of Beatrice. The problem was, Beatrice was vocal about her "like" for me to everyone but me. Apparently she talked about me all the time, she also had pictures, and things of mine, like candy wrappers and things like that. She would talk to everyone but me. Every time I would attempt to strike up conversation with Beatrice, all she would say was hey. No joke she could barely get off 3 words in front of me. This type of conversation, while later on in life was partial inspiration for a song, was in hind sight idiotic and I should have ran from it, but being the before mentioned stupid, young, child, I did not. It was honestly annoying, but I was intrigued, and determined to get to know her better. So I gave her my phone number, and surprise she could talk for hours over the phone but still no words in person.
Time passed and many moons and overnight phone conversations later, Beatrice grew on me and I decided to ask her out. So being the young stupid kid I was I wrote it on a piece of paper and gave it to her. Of course she wrote back because the only thing she could seem to say was my name. Victor
Perry Marshall (the second), every time I saw her that was the only thing I could get out of her, but as soon as I call her we could talk forever. So as most kids who rack up huge phone bills find out. my parents didn't like my phone habits so they took my phone. That meant, no conversation ever with Beatrice, and soon she slips me another piece of paper, saying we were broken up, and she had found someone else at school. Finally! I was surprised it had lasted that long. It was the weirdest relationship I ever had, because we barely had one. Funny thing is I saw her again almost ten years later, and all she could say was " Hi Victor Perry Marshall (the second)" Haha, disaster averted!
What I Learn From Beatrice
First, peer advice is not always best, Take time to actually want to be in the relationship on your own, because your peers won't be in the relationship, you will. If I would have stuck to my original thoughts, this ridiculous relationship would never have happened
Second, communication is very important. I could not stand the fact that Beatrice couldn't talk to me. It was that star struck, your important, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you mentality, that I hate so much. While I deserve to be treated with respect I'm also human and nobody important. I can't stand that type of girl, especially if she's my girlfriend. It just made me more apt to talk to anybody and everybody and not be closed off to girls I wouldn't ever see myself dating.
Third, It shows me not to drag a hopeless thing on just to be in a relationship. I'm glad I learned that lesson early, because it could have bit me later on. Beatrice should have ended before it started and I let it go just to say that I was in a relationship, which I tried to hide as much as possible anyway. See young and stupid.
World, this is just the beginning of the craziness that was and is my dating life. It gets more interesting I guarantee it. If you enjoy it and have questions or comments please feel free to leave a comment and I will respond and answer them for you.
Till next time
VICTOR PERRY MARSHALL (THE SECOND)
Every story has a beginning, a starting line, a gun blast, the fateful even that changes life as we know it, and this is mine. The first girl, I ever dated, like officially dated. Well, this is my first attempt at least. I could drag out this first paragraph to be structurally sound and feel better about myself, but I am dying to tell you this ridiculous story so I will begin. (See what I did there?)
Oh the joys of being young and stupid. That is how I will preface this chapter, because that is exactly what it was, young stupidity. There was a time when I was oblivious to every female advance, every "she likes you" hehe, and every note passed. It was kind of pathetic really, but that was how I was. I mean hey, I was 15. Anyway, I kind of just walked around in oblivion happy and complete. Then I met Beatrice.
At first, I wanted nothing to do with the girl we will call Beatrice. Yes, she was "cute", ok honestly she was beautiful, but I wanted nothing to do with her because my eyes were set on someone else at the time. I ignored Beatrice, and for the most part, barely had conversation with her. I never planned on ever crossing the friendship barrier with her. Apparently, Beatrice had other intentions. After a cruel twist of events like I like to call parental intervention, the girl I had my eyes set on was no longer an option for me. Since she was a dead option, I started to notice the other live options available to me. Some more appealing than others, but none more apparent than Beatrice. See Beatrice liked me and made everyone else aware of it. It started to become clear that I was the only one who hadn't noticed it before. Like the young stupid idiot I was, I started to like the attention, started listening to my horny peers, and started toying with the option of Beatrice. The problem was, Beatrice was vocal about her "like" for me to everyone but me. Apparently she talked about me all the time, she also had pictures, and things of mine, like candy wrappers and things like that. She would talk to everyone but me. Every time I would attempt to strike up conversation with Beatrice, all she would say was hey. No joke she could barely get off 3 words in front of me. This type of conversation, while later on in life was partial inspiration for a song, was in hind sight idiotic and I should have ran from it, but being the before mentioned stupid, young, child, I did not. It was honestly annoying, but I was intrigued, and determined to get to know her better. So I gave her my phone number, and surprise she could talk for hours over the phone but still no words in person.
Time passed and many moons and overnight phone conversations later, Beatrice grew on me and I decided to ask her out. So being the young stupid kid I was I wrote it on a piece of paper and gave it to her. Of course she wrote back because the only thing she could seem to say was my name. Victor
Perry Marshall (the second), every time I saw her that was the only thing I could get out of her, but as soon as I call her we could talk forever. So as most kids who rack up huge phone bills find out. my parents didn't like my phone habits so they took my phone. That meant, no conversation ever with Beatrice, and soon she slips me another piece of paper, saying we were broken up, and she had found someone else at school. Finally! I was surprised it had lasted that long. It was the weirdest relationship I ever had, because we barely had one. Funny thing is I saw her again almost ten years later, and all she could say was " Hi Victor Perry Marshall (the second)" Haha, disaster averted!
What I Learn From Beatrice
First, peer advice is not always best, Take time to actually want to be in the relationship on your own, because your peers won't be in the relationship, you will. If I would have stuck to my original thoughts, this ridiculous relationship would never have happened
Second, communication is very important. I could not stand the fact that Beatrice couldn't talk to me. It was that star struck, your important, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you mentality, that I hate so much. While I deserve to be treated with respect I'm also human and nobody important. I can't stand that type of girl, especially if she's my girlfriend. It just made me more apt to talk to anybody and everybody and not be closed off to girls I wouldn't ever see myself dating.
Third, It shows me not to drag a hopeless thing on just to be in a relationship. I'm glad I learned that lesson early, because it could have bit me later on. Beatrice should have ended before it started and I let it go just to say that I was in a relationship, which I tried to hide as much as possible anyway. See young and stupid.
World, this is just the beginning of the craziness that was and is my dating life. It gets more interesting I guarantee it. If you enjoy it and have questions or comments please feel free to leave a comment and I will respond and answer them for you.
Till next time
VICTOR PERRY MARSHALL (THE SECOND)
New Beginnings
Hey world,
So this isn't a poem, or a story about my exes, this is an old fashioned post about me and my life. It's been a while since I've done this but oh well. Things have been great lately. A lot of hard work and patience has finally paid off. I started working as an RT last week and its awesome! Not only does this particular job triple my income, but it also gives me the precise experience in patient care that I need. That in itself is perfect. Its also 2 1/2 hours away from San Diego, so it gives me a fresh plane to focus on work and getting everything together.
If you read the poem I wrote in a blog a few weeks ago, This is the change I was talking about. Funny thing is it all came in perfect timing. You have to get rid of some things in life before you can start to see change. You can't have things holding you back and expect to go anywhere. That being said, I had to make this partial move to Indio, CA to find better work opportunities. San Diego is over saturated with new RT grads. There are not many opportunities at the moment, so since the relationship is over and the parents have their own scheme cooking up, I decided to do what I needed to do. There was nothing in SD holding me back anymore. I have my family and friends who I love, but they aren't gonna pay my bills. So on to a better me. Plus I love what I do, and I'm pretty good at it so far.
So here it is, a new beginning, dark shadows are long gone and lingering somewhere else. No rain on my parade, and the forecast calls for clear skies. No more calls or texts asking if I'm ok I am and have been fine, and am clearly enjoying life. I'm exited to see what this new chapter brings to my life. It has already brought a career, the rest is just collateral!
Till next time,
Vic
So this isn't a poem, or a story about my exes, this is an old fashioned post about me and my life. It's been a while since I've done this but oh well. Things have been great lately. A lot of hard work and patience has finally paid off. I started working as an RT last week and its awesome! Not only does this particular job triple my income, but it also gives me the precise experience in patient care that I need. That in itself is perfect. Its also 2 1/2 hours away from San Diego, so it gives me a fresh plane to focus on work and getting everything together.
If you read the poem I wrote in a blog a few weeks ago, This is the change I was talking about. Funny thing is it all came in perfect timing. You have to get rid of some things in life before you can start to see change. You can't have things holding you back and expect to go anywhere. That being said, I had to make this partial move to Indio, CA to find better work opportunities. San Diego is over saturated with new RT grads. There are not many opportunities at the moment, so since the relationship is over and the parents have their own scheme cooking up, I decided to do what I needed to do. There was nothing in SD holding me back anymore. I have my family and friends who I love, but they aren't gonna pay my bills. So on to a better me. Plus I love what I do, and I'm pretty good at it so far.
So here it is, a new beginning, dark shadows are long gone and lingering somewhere else. No rain on my parade, and the forecast calls for clear skies. No more calls or texts asking if I'm ok I am and have been fine, and am clearly enjoying life. I'm exited to see what this new chapter brings to my life. It has already brought a career, the rest is just collateral!
Till next time,
Vic
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The Love of Women : The Root of All My Evil - Stella #1
Hello World,
Everyone anyone has ever known, if they are honest with themselves, can look back at the bullets they've dodged. Not literal bullets, but figurative, imaginary, life changing bullets. You know what I mean, the relationships that could have been catastrophic, for example; the baby trapper female, or the secret cutter. Those are scary. Most of the time the bullets that get dodged have already left the gun. Boy have I had my share of those. This particular story is not one of those. This is a story about dodging a pre-shot bullet, I'll call it a slug, and that slugs name was...Stella #1.
This story starts out like an 80's television series. I'm just going to put that out there. Here I was, a sixteen year old kid, my first semester in college. I had graduated high-school early and was given an ultimatum by my father. Go to college, or go to our churches institute. Because I felt the need to study something other than Bible I went to college. Sixteen years old, wide eyed for knowledge and hungry for excitement, I quickly made friends, female friends. Of course, most of them, nay all of them were quite older than I was, but that didn't matter to them. Some protected me like I was their little brother, while others threatened to rape and defile me. I believe some of them meant it. For the most part I kept myself pretty clear of the admirers, using the phrase: "I'm trying to focus on school right now, not relationships." I wish I would have kept that mentality. Anyway, my love for socializing and music came together with the group of friends I started hanging out with. Singing, dancing, carrying on and what not became the norm for me, which obviously attracted more female attention. I boldly staved them off until the day that I met Stella #1.
Stella #1 was, to me, the closest embodiment of my favorite actress, Catherine Zeta Jones. The first time I saw her I imagined her with a sword in her hand, black mask across her eyes, wearing cowboy boots with the spurs. WITH THE SPURS!! Needless to say we hit it off like no girl I had ever known before, bold statement for a sixteen year old. She was easy to talk to, and she talked to me in front of people, unlike Beatrice who I'll tell you about later. Man, we really understood each other. So after knowing her for all of two weeks. I decided to pop the question. Not "THE QUESTION", but the other question, the lesser question, the "will you go out with me" question. The only problem now was, how to do it.
To the learned person reading this, understand I had never verbally asked a girl out before. So this was a big deal for me. I didn't want to use the same method I had used with Beatrice, write it on a piece of paper. I was growing up. I had to impress. So I did what came natural to me at the moment. I punked out and sang her a remixed Usher song on her answering machine when I knew she was at work. Nailed it! She loved it, said yes, showed all her friends and we lived happily ever after duh! FALSE! She did love it, said yes, and did show all her friends, but happily ever after only lasted 2 days. See to my surprise she already had a man back home, with whom she lived with. If that wasn't bad enough, he was coming to visit in a few weeks. So we "broke up" and I didn't feel too bad about it, and I was kind of rude when explaining that to her. I mean, to me she had a man, thanks for the honesty after we get together, but whatever I'm done with you. So we stopped talking and that was that. At least that's the way I perceived it.
To Stella #1 we could still be close, in fact, she was mad that we were not still close. This was evident by a conversation we had a month or so after the "breakup" in which she accused me of not hanging out anymore and not having feelings anymore for her. All of which were true. I had not realized before that point that it mattered to her. The only thing I knew was that it no longer mattered to me.
What Can I Learn from Stella #1
First, I learn to take the time to really get to know someone before you get into a relationship with them. It is the "look before you leap" concept. If I would have slowed my raging hormones down, I could have determined the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. That would have saved the embarrassment on both parts, and most likely saved a friendship.
Second, I learn to communicate exactly what your expectations and feeling are in the beginning and at the end of a relationship. You see, Stella #1 thought we could still have something, but I on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with her after she told me she had a man. If We would have talked about that as we ended our brief relationship, feelings could have been spared.
Third, I learn that even though the other person may have hurt you or even ruined your mentality of them, they are still people. They still have feelings, whether or not you share them. Being rude does not have place even if it is warranted. Do not hesitate to be honest but, you don't have to be intentionally rude, and I was.
Well world that is the story of Stella #1, she wasn't the first girl I dated and she definitely isn't the last. Or this would be a very short blog series. I hope you like it. I appreciate your feedback positive and negative. I will respond to all your comments and concerns in this blog series. If it's negative I'll read it and respond, but doesn't mean I'll do anything about it lol. Well I hope you like it and can learn from my life.
Love ya world,
Vic
Thursday, January 10, 2013
A Path of Mine Own
Hello world,
A storm is brewing, big change is approaching,
The Devil is at hand,
The sky is darkening and the world grows dim,
But I still hear the band,
Waltzing out of time with no direction,
Lost in the shadows of mine own complexion,
Trapped in the hourglass of life's selection,
Still steady drips the sand.
A mind still working, A life worth saving,
Both of which have grown,
The glass breaking, The canopy ripping in twain,
Everything I've known,
Mocked by those who can't relate,
Tears from some will come too late,
The time is now I must create,
A path of mine own.
Victor. P. Marshall II
I kinda just wanted to prove to myself that I could still do this, but it turned into something more. Explanations will come later for some, others will never quite understand. but until then....
Love ya world.
A storm is brewing, big change is approaching,
The Devil is at hand,
The sky is darkening and the world grows dim,
But I still hear the band,
Waltzing out of time with no direction,
Lost in the shadows of mine own complexion,
Trapped in the hourglass of life's selection,
Still steady drips the sand.
A mind still working, A life worth saving,
Both of which have grown,
The glass breaking, The canopy ripping in twain,
Everything I've known,
Mocked by those who can't relate,
Tears from some will come too late,
The time is now I must create,
A path of mine own.
Victor. P. Marshall II
I kinda just wanted to prove to myself that I could still do this, but it turned into something more. Explanations will come later for some, others will never quite understand. but until then....
Love ya world.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
"The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil" - Introduction
Hey World
Here it is the first installment of the book, it is introduction, to what promises to be an insightful and interesting journey through my memories and onto paper. I will be writing these one "story" at a time, hopefully I can do it weekly but I won't make any promises. I would appreciate your comments and input. Thanks everyone...enjoy!
Introduction
Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women/girls I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. I have found that people often jump from relationship to relationship without considering the reasons, or "breakup factors" contributing to the failure of said relationship. If solutions to these "breakup factors" are not implemented, a person often ends up repeating the same mistakes and compiling them with new ones in a new relationship. This book, call it a memoir of sorts, is my attempt to correct my own mistakes. By looking into the mindset of a younger me; using hind site, which everyone knows is 20/20, I hope to see the error of my ways and prevent myself from making the same category of epic failure.
All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy. I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. Some of them might recognize the stories and be offended by the content, to that I say write your own book. To the best of my ability, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.
Love ya World!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Where Have You Been All My Life?
Hey World,
It's been a while, I know, and honestly there is no excuse. I just reread some of my post from a while ago and I realized how long its actually been. Well, enough about that. I guess I should update you guys on a few things going on in my life and where I've been lately.
First, I graduated and passed 2 out of 3 of my board exams. Haven't taken the third one yet, but now I am licensed by California to "practice" respiratory therapy. So that's cool. Second, I turned 24. (I can already tell this is gonna be a very "hohum" blog.) Lastly for now, I am single again, not a whole lot to say about that other than, its for the best...but...yea that's about it. I haven't been doing a whole lot of blog worthy things lately. Well, I did take part in a wedding, and let me tell you, it was fun.
So, being that this was the first wedding I'd ever been a part of, I was exited. I was playing guitar for the ceremony and singing with a few friends during both the wedding and the reception. Looking back on it, I can see how people get stressed over these things. It's a lot of work. However, being the type of person I am, I didn't stress. I just made sure I had my songs memorized and I played them all day. Craziness! It payed off tho cuz the wedding was beautiful and the bride and groom were very happy. So it all worked out. I think I even have a picture with them later on in the day. Let me find it, or else I'll get "pictures or it didn't happen" from some of my friends. Even though they were there as well. I put it on instagram so here is the link.http://instagram.com/p/TJ_pMZkJjJ/
Anyway, it was a good day. Things have been a whole lot better recently, so I can't complain. Oh, that book snippet that I blogged about a while ago, was on my old computer and it crashed. So I think I will just rewrite it as a blog series I'm sure you guys will enjoy that.
Well, I'm out till next time. I promise it won't be as long as this time. I'll holla at you!
Bye World.
Vic
Monday, August 27, 2012
The Weaker Sex
Hello World,
Today, I want to talk to the men of the world about the women of the world. I want to talk to you specifically about the strength of women.
No matter where you grow up or what your background is, as a male you grow up hearing that women are the weaker sex. What makes them the weaker sex? If you were to ask a group of men, boys, teenagers, just males period, what makes women the weaker sex, hands would shoot up all over the room and the first answer would be, physicality.Some guys think that women are physically weaker then men...... Idk about that one. I know girls that can bench press me benchpressing 200 pounds, so that answer seems a little fallible to me.
Another answer they could give would be emotions. They would say women are too emotional and emotions make them weak.(the hypothetical group thinks they've hit it on the head with this one and there is no way they could be proven wrong.) So, since that is the concensus of the group lets explore that.
Ok so your dating a girl, you don't think she's gonna be long term, but she'll do right now. You don't treat her bad. In fact your a great guy to her and you treat her very well. In time you find some problems and things start to get annoying and you decide to leave. That is the end of your relationship. However, this situation isn't over. Looking down the road, you may be fine and she may seem fine, but let me assure you that damage was done. Because, the next guy that comes along could be a great guy, he could be the best thing that ever happened to her (at the time), but you know that diner where you used to take her? HE takes her there and all the memories of you start flooding back. Uhoh, now we have a problem, emotions are swelling and she starts to cry. He doesnt understand why this keeps happening and he gets tired of it and does exactly what you did, he decides to leave. Now we have a real problem, now she's labeled as broken and tragic. She compiles more and more hurt onto her plate, maybe she has some daddy issues to go on top of you and the other guy issues. Maybe she has been physically or mentally abused and hasn't sought help for it, because she doesnt think she's worth it. WOAH, now she's crazy and every relationship she is in is a bad one. She settles for far less than she deserves, and is taken advantage of by everyone. (this is the part where the class gets quiet, and I ask the question, Is this what makes her the weaker vessel? Have her emotions crippled her and made her weak? At once I get a Unanimous yes.) WRONG! Guess what guy? Yeah you first guy. This is your fault. Her emotions havent made her weak. You have made her weak. Her scars arent because she's too fragile to handle loss. Its because you started a chain of hurt, and even though you were able to shake it off, she has been carrying it. The next guy came and left, leaving her with more to carry. The guy after that came and stockpiled more, daddy issues- more, abandonment issues- more. Do you see the cycle. She has been carrying it all. It's easier to be strong when your not carrying loads of baggage. You can run faster when your not weighted down. Does that make you stronger? No, it doesn't.
See class, we as men need to be careful how we treat the women in our lives. We never know what damage we could do as a result of carelessness. We may think we are doing the right thing, even by her, but we are doing more than even we know. Thinking we can hook up with this girl and that one, or play with emotions just because we are good at it, and no reprocussions will accrue, is wrong. Because everytime we "take another one off the lot" she depreciates in value, maybe not to others but to herself. For guys coming into a relationship with a girl like this, you have a journey ahead of you. However, if you are determined and can sift through the baggage you may find a stronger women than even she thinks.
Class dismissed.
Vic
Today, I want to talk to the men of the world about the women of the world. I want to talk to you specifically about the strength of women.
No matter where you grow up or what your background is, as a male you grow up hearing that women are the weaker sex. What makes them the weaker sex? If you were to ask a group of men, boys, teenagers, just males period, what makes women the weaker sex, hands would shoot up all over the room and the first answer would be, physicality.Some guys think that women are physically weaker then men...... Idk about that one. I know girls that can bench press me benchpressing 200 pounds, so that answer seems a little fallible to me.
Another answer they could give would be emotions. They would say women are too emotional and emotions make them weak.(the hypothetical group thinks they've hit it on the head with this one and there is no way they could be proven wrong.) So, since that is the concensus of the group lets explore that.
Ok so your dating a girl, you don't think she's gonna be long term, but she'll do right now. You don't treat her bad. In fact your a great guy to her and you treat her very well. In time you find some problems and things start to get annoying and you decide to leave. That is the end of your relationship. However, this situation isn't over. Looking down the road, you may be fine and she may seem fine, but let me assure you that damage was done. Because, the next guy that comes along could be a great guy, he could be the best thing that ever happened to her (at the time), but you know that diner where you used to take her? HE takes her there and all the memories of you start flooding back. Uhoh, now we have a problem, emotions are swelling and she starts to cry. He doesnt understand why this keeps happening and he gets tired of it and does exactly what you did, he decides to leave. Now we have a real problem, now she's labeled as broken and tragic. She compiles more and more hurt onto her plate, maybe she has some daddy issues to go on top of you and the other guy issues. Maybe she has been physically or mentally abused and hasn't sought help for it, because she doesnt think she's worth it. WOAH, now she's crazy and every relationship she is in is a bad one. She settles for far less than she deserves, and is taken advantage of by everyone. (this is the part where the class gets quiet, and I ask the question, Is this what makes her the weaker vessel? Have her emotions crippled her and made her weak? At once I get a Unanimous yes.) WRONG! Guess what guy? Yeah you first guy. This is your fault. Her emotions havent made her weak. You have made her weak. Her scars arent because she's too fragile to handle loss. Its because you started a chain of hurt, and even though you were able to shake it off, she has been carrying it. The next guy came and left, leaving her with more to carry. The guy after that came and stockpiled more, daddy issues- more, abandonment issues- more. Do you see the cycle. She has been carrying it all. It's easier to be strong when your not carrying loads of baggage. You can run faster when your not weighted down. Does that make you stronger? No, it doesn't.
See class, we as men need to be careful how we treat the women in our lives. We never know what damage we could do as a result of carelessness. We may think we are doing the right thing, even by her, but we are doing more than even we know. Thinking we can hook up with this girl and that one, or play with emotions just because we are good at it, and no reprocussions will accrue, is wrong. Because everytime we "take another one off the lot" she depreciates in value, maybe not to others but to herself. For guys coming into a relationship with a girl like this, you have a journey ahead of you. However, if you are determined and can sift through the baggage you may find a stronger women than even she thinks.
Class dismissed.
Vic
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Boom! Boom! Shake Shake, now DROP
Hey world,
So life dealt you a bad hand. sent you a couple of bombs and it shook you up a bit.
So WHAT! You've got to learn to get over it and over yourself. Wallow in your pity all you wants to, but the longer you stay there the longer things are going to be the same. Drop the drama, and learn to move forward. Staying in the past only hurts you and others around you.
The thing about a bad hand is that once the turn is over you get a new one, but you will never get a new one if you dont play the turn. The Universe is not out to get you, God is not trying to make your life hell, and Karma is not coming around to bite you. Its called life, bad things happen that you can't control. How you react to these situations is what defines you, not the circumstance. So yea be the person who wallows or be the person who wallops. Do yourself a favor, drop the petty crap and be strong.
Love ya world
vic
So life dealt you a bad hand. sent you a couple of bombs and it shook you up a bit.
So WHAT! You've got to learn to get over it and over yourself. Wallow in your pity all you wants to, but the longer you stay there the longer things are going to be the same. Drop the drama, and learn to move forward. Staying in the past only hurts you and others around you.
The thing about a bad hand is that once the turn is over you get a new one, but you will never get a new one if you dont play the turn. The Universe is not out to get you, God is not trying to make your life hell, and Karma is not coming around to bite you. Its called life, bad things happen that you can't control. How you react to these situations is what defines you, not the circumstance. So yea be the person who wallows or be the person who wallops. Do yourself a favor, drop the petty crap and be strong.
Love ya world
vic
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Miss me maybe
Hello World,
"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe."
These words, this song, nay this epidemic, has permeated our minds and ears for months now. It's catchy tune and its rhythmic style have captivated hearts around the world.
It's simply one of those songs you just cant get out of your head. However there is one part of this song that throws my lyrical mind for a loop. I believe its the bridge where she says "before you came into my life I missed you so bad." That concept threw me for a loop until recently.
I used to think like our friend Mr. Wonka, until I really thought about it. Before you came into my life I didn't miss you as a person for who you were and who you would be to me. No, thats impossible. I missed you, meaning I couldn't attain you. I fell short time and time again. I failed over and over because you were not a part of my life. This is the reason I can say I missed you so bad, even though it is a poor use of English. I Missed you bad. There is no other way to say it, it was BAD.
Now I understand you miss Jepsen, and I am not left in bewilderment. If I am wrong in my assessment, then please correct me. I would highly appreciate it.
Love ya world
Vic
"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe."
It's simply one of those songs you just cant get out of your head. However there is one part of this song that throws my lyrical mind for a loop. I believe its the bridge where she says "before you came into my life I missed you so bad." That concept threw me for a loop until recently.
Love ya world
Vic
Thursday, August 9, 2012
If you dont know me by now!
Hello World.
We've been going at this for some time, while I admit; not as consistent as I hoped, but yet we persist. I just wanted to take some time and tell you some things about me you may not know already. When I say thing I don't mean long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners, because personally I'd rather be in the water and I prefer to stand when I eat. Its just so much better for the metabolism. Anyway, I wanted to put a certain number of things about me up on here but I decided that I'm just going to start at one and see where it takes me. So here we go.
1. I'm a pretty tolerant person, but I have strong beliefs.
2. I think that in the phrase "Lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets" Lady in the streets is the utmost important.
3. Contrary to whatever you may think, I am not a shallow person.
4. What a girl looks like on the outside, isn't the most important thing, In fact it really doesn't matter too much to me.
5. Give me a good book and I will be content all day.
6. I sometimes hold those close to me too tight.
7. I can be the nicest coolest person you'll ever meet or I can be the meanest jerk you know.
8. I can successfully be both people in number 7 at the same time.
9. I have big plans for my life.
10. I'm one of those guys who actually wants a wife and kids.
11. I like helping other people live better lives.
12. I live my life at a higher standard than I personally might believe, and I do it on purpose.
13. I know that people say I'm an attractive person, but I really don't care
14. I get what I want, but what I want is always changing.
15. I'm a strategist I make a move and watch to see how the game plays out then I make another move accordingly.
16. I have just as many girl friends as I do guy friends.
17. I used to be very self conscious about my looks, then i got over it.
18. I've spent over 80 dollars on books (non school books) just to read for my own personal pleasure.
19. I love hard and I fall harder
20. If you ask for the shirt on my back I'll asses if you really need it and then if you do ill give it to you.
21. I hate wearing clothes.
22. I believe love is an everyday choice, and its hard to do and the real test of any friendship/relationship is to keep making that choice no matter what.
23. I often sacrifice what I really want for the whims and joys of others.
24. If I could play any sport professionally it would be soccer
25. I have cried more this year than I had the 5 years previous.
26. I'm very good with words, but chose not to use them around certain people because they just don't understand.
27. I have family that I haven't seen for years, and every year I plan on seeing them, it just never happens.
28. I'll be 24 in 45 days.
29. I like to think that I'm a happy peroson
30. I ran out of things to say a while ago but I made sure I quit on an even number because i have certain friends (pearliology) who would get on me for not making it to an even number
Well that was just a few randoms about me, I hope I bored you to the maximum while interesting you beyond belief.
Love ya world,
Vic
We've been going at this for some time, while I admit; not as consistent as I hoped, but yet we persist. I just wanted to take some time and tell you some things about me you may not know already. When I say thing I don't mean long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners, because personally I'd rather be in the water and I prefer to stand when I eat. Its just so much better for the metabolism. Anyway, I wanted to put a certain number of things about me up on here but I decided that I'm just going to start at one and see where it takes me. So here we go.
1. I'm a pretty tolerant person, but I have strong beliefs.
2. I think that in the phrase "Lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets" Lady in the streets is the utmost important.
3. Contrary to whatever you may think, I am not a shallow person.
4. What a girl looks like on the outside, isn't the most important thing, In fact it really doesn't matter too much to me.
5. Give me a good book and I will be content all day.
6. I sometimes hold those close to me too tight.
7. I can be the nicest coolest person you'll ever meet or I can be the meanest jerk you know.
8. I can successfully be both people in number 7 at the same time.
9. I have big plans for my life.
10. I'm one of those guys who actually wants a wife and kids.
11. I like helping other people live better lives.
12. I live my life at a higher standard than I personally might believe, and I do it on purpose.
13. I know that people say I'm an attractive person, but I really don't care
14. I get what I want, but what I want is always changing.
15. I'm a strategist I make a move and watch to see how the game plays out then I make another move accordingly.
16. I have just as many girl friends as I do guy friends.
17. I used to be very self conscious about my looks, then i got over it.
18. I've spent over 80 dollars on books (non school books) just to read for my own personal pleasure.
19. I love hard and I fall harder
20. If you ask for the shirt on my back I'll asses if you really need it and then if you do ill give it to you.
21. I hate wearing clothes.
22. I believe love is an everyday choice, and its hard to do and the real test of any friendship/relationship is to keep making that choice no matter what.
23. I often sacrifice what I really want for the whims and joys of others.
24. If I could play any sport professionally it would be soccer
25. I have cried more this year than I had the 5 years previous.
26. I'm very good with words, but chose not to use them around certain people because they just don't understand.
27. I have family that I haven't seen for years, and every year I plan on seeing them, it just never happens.
28. I'll be 24 in 45 days.
29. I like to think that I'm a happy peroson
30. I ran out of things to say a while ago but I made sure I quit on an even number because i have certain friends (pearliology) who would get on me for not making it to an even number
Well that was just a few randoms about me, I hope I bored you to the maximum while interesting you beyond belief.
Love ya world,
Vic
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
You are not alone
Hey World,
There are times when everyone feels alone. There are times when you think nobody understands you, and no one cares. I've been there. We have all been there. The funny thing is, in most situations, we are surrounded by people who care about us and love us. We just can't see it. It's a temporary blindness brought on by emotional stress, crisis situations, or maybe you just WANT to feel down. (Believe me, It happens sometimes.) Either way, EITHER WAY, in these moments we have to pause, we have to calm down, we have to look around and see all that we have, and open our eyes to the love that is waiting for us. It is here when we will see that we've been pushing our friends and loved ones away out of anger and or pity for our own selves. We neglect friendships and burn bridges in our minds that are made of steel in reality. This mentality has to stop. We have to stop and take time to rebuild those relationships or we wont have anything to rebuild later. Only because we've pushed everyone else so far, that it almost takes force to bring them back again.
We grow older and lose friendships, but I want to take time today to recognize some of the people that have made my life bearable lately.
There are times when everyone feels alone. There are times when you think nobody understands you, and no one cares. I've been there. We have all been there. The funny thing is, in most situations, we are surrounded by people who care about us and love us. We just can't see it. It's a temporary blindness brought on by emotional stress, crisis situations, or maybe you just WANT to feel down. (Believe me, It happens sometimes.) Either way, EITHER WAY, in these moments we have to pause, we have to calm down, we have to look around and see all that we have, and open our eyes to the love that is waiting for us. It is here when we will see that we've been pushing our friends and loved ones away out of anger and or pity for our own selves. We neglect friendships and burn bridges in our minds that are made of steel in reality. This mentality has to stop. We have to stop and take time to rebuild those relationships or we wont have anything to rebuild later. Only because we've pushed everyone else so far, that it almost takes force to bring them back again.
We grow older and lose friendships, but I want to take time today to recognize some of the people that have made my life bearable lately.
first my family, that goes without saying
My brothers (left to right) Houston and Eddie. whenever I need someone to talk to
or set me straight, put me in my place, encourage me, or somebody to cry to, I call them.
My dude Danny, Sometimes people go through things that bring them closer together
well, we've been through most of it, and are still strong
My guys, my link to everything ( L2R: Nick, Me, Dan, Jon, and Dave)
Couldn't survive without these guys in my corner
Titus Golden, My shrink, my friend, my conscience, the angel and devil on my shoulder.
Your neighborhood friendly Darryl Gittens, funniest guy I know
with a heart of gold covered chocolate, hit him up ladies on twitter @EightBars
My bro, Kuresa. One of those people you go without, but can't do without.(makes sense think about it)
and yes, he is a ninja.
Now enough of the guys its time for the ladies.
These girls I don't see at all, but I know they pray for me and hold me down on a level that
I may never understand. (Ana and Una)
This chick, Lisa is always down for fun, and always down to study. Shes always got the
educational scoop on what's going down at school. She made clinicals fun for me and
she is a good friend (and yes I am a ninja too)
My mistress Gabby, Love her to death and I just met her. She's Awesome in every sense of the word.
Ancilla doesn't even know me, we never met. We just so happen to follow each other on twitter
but, there have been times when I've seen her tweets at the roughest time of the day and she's made me laugh or smile or just be happy and thankful. Its people like this that do things for you and they will never know.
This is the perfect picture to describe Sarah Pearl. She's a nut but she's a good person and she loves her friends and family.
Steph is going to kill me for this picture but I don't care, She's one of those people who will come when you call no matter what. She is a very giving person, so sometimes I give her 5 min to talk about unicorns
Allison, If
I could have a daughter who was a year and a half older than me, then Alli would be it. She's so small but she's strong and smart, and packs a mean punch
I could have a daughter who was a year and a half older than me, then Alli would be it. She's so small but she's strong and smart, and packs a mean punch
Here she is, The love of my life Amanda. I could say too much about her so I" will purposely not say enough other than, Without her I would be a mess, and not a hot mess a straight mess.
Last but not least, the woman that made my woman possible. Shirley Tadiarca (Amanda's mom)
She is the first to be encouraging and help me when I need it. She is subtle and precise with me and I like that, she gets me and makes sure she includes me in her prayers.
There are so many others that have made life great for me this past year or so, but many of them are not on social networks and I don't have pics of, and I think I've stolen enough pics for the day, but i am no less thankful for them all . Take the time to think of those who love you and who you love. Hopefully the more you do, the less you will feel alone, and the happier you will be.
Love you world,
Vic
Monday, July 16, 2012
Take that Monday HIYAH!
..and its not a music Monday without a little Marley so here we go
kick Monday in the mouth and smile while doing it, with love
vic
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