Hello World,
Everyone anyone has ever known, if they are honest with themselves, can look back at the bullets they've dodged. Not literal bullets, but figurative, imaginary, life changing bullets. You know what I mean, the relationships that could have been catastrophic, for example; the baby trapper female, or the secret cutter. Those are scary. Most of the time the bullets that get dodged have already left the gun. Boy have I had my share of those. This particular story is not one of those. This is a story about dodging a pre-shot bullet, I'll call it a slug, and that slugs name was...Stella #1.
This story starts out like an 80's television series. I'm just going to put that out there. Here I was, a sixteen year old kid, my first semester in college. I had graduated high-school early and was given an ultimatum by my father. Go to college, or go to our churches institute. Because I felt the need to study something other than Bible I went to college. Sixteen years old, wide eyed for knowledge and hungry for excitement, I quickly made friends, female friends. Of course, most of them, nay all of them were quite older than I was, but that didn't matter to them. Some protected me like I was their little brother, while others threatened to rape and defile me. I believe some of them meant it. For the most part I kept myself pretty clear of the admirers, using the phrase: "I'm trying to focus on school right now, not relationships." I wish I would have kept that mentality. Anyway, my love for socializing and music came together with the group of friends I started hanging out with. Singing, dancing, carrying on and what not became the norm for me, which obviously attracted more female attention. I boldly staved them off until the day that I met Stella #1.
Stella #1 was, to me, the closest embodiment of my favorite actress, Catherine Zeta Jones. The first time I saw her I imagined her with a sword in her hand, black mask across her eyes, wearing cowboy boots with the spurs. WITH THE SPURS!! Needless to say we hit it off like no girl I had ever known before, bold statement for a sixteen year old. She was easy to talk to, and she talked to me in front of people, unlike Beatrice who I'll tell you about later. Man, we really understood each other. So after knowing her for all of two weeks. I decided to pop the question. Not "THE QUESTION", but the other question, the lesser question, the "will you go out with me" question. The only problem now was, how to do it.
To the learned person reading this, understand I had never verbally asked a girl out before. So this was a big deal for me. I didn't want to use the same method I had used with Beatrice, write it on a piece of paper. I was growing up. I had to impress. So I did what came natural to me at the moment. I punked out and sang her a remixed Usher song on her answering machine when I knew she was at work. Nailed it! She loved it, said yes, showed all her friends and we lived happily ever after duh! FALSE! She did love it, said yes, and did show all her friends, but happily ever after only lasted 2 days. See to my surprise she already had a man back home, with whom she lived with. If that wasn't bad enough, he was coming to visit in a few weeks. So we "broke up" and I didn't feel too bad about it, and I was kind of rude when explaining that to her. I mean, to me she had a man, thanks for the honesty after we get together, but whatever I'm done with you. So we stopped talking and that was that. At least that's the way I perceived it.
To Stella #1 we could still be close, in fact, she was mad that we were not still close. This was evident by a conversation we had a month or so after the "breakup" in which she accused me of not hanging out anymore and not having feelings anymore for her. All of which were true. I had not realized before that point that it mattered to her. The only thing I knew was that it no longer mattered to me.
What Can I Learn from Stella #1
First, I learn to take the time to really get to know someone before you get into a relationship with them. It is the "look before you leap" concept. If I would have slowed my raging hormones down, I could have determined the fact that she had a boyfriend back home. That would have saved the embarrassment on both parts, and most likely saved a friendship.
Second, I learn to communicate exactly what your expectations and feeling are in the beginning and at the end of a relationship. You see, Stella #1 thought we could still have something, but I on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with her after she told me she had a man. If We would have talked about that as we ended our brief relationship, feelings could have been spared.
Third, I learn that even though the other person may have hurt you or even ruined your mentality of them, they are still people. They still have feelings, whether or not you share them. Being rude does not have place even if it is warranted. Do not hesitate to be honest but, you don't have to be intentionally rude, and I was.
Well world that is the story of Stella #1, she wasn't the first girl I dated and she definitely isn't the last. Or this would be a very short blog series. I hope you like it. I appreciate your feedback positive and negative. I will respond to all your comments and concerns in this blog series. If it's negative I'll read it and respond, but doesn't mean I'll do anything about it lol. Well I hope you like it and can learn from my life.
Love ya world,
Vic
