"The Love of Women: The Root of All My Evil" - Introduction

Hey World

        Here it is the first installment of the book, it is introduction, to what promises to be an insightful and interesting journey through my memories and onto paper. I will be writing these one "story" at a time, hopefully I can do it weekly but I won't make any promises. I would appreciate your comments and input. Thanks everyone...enjoy!

                                                      Introduction

       Right off the bat I want to say the purpose of this book isn’t to glorify the relationships I’ve been in. Nor is it to degrade any of the women/girls I’ve been interested in or dated. It is more to help me see where my mind was at and where it is today in regards to women and how I am in a dating relationship, with the hopes of helping other people realize their own shortcomings and strong suites. I have found that people often jump from relationship to relationship without considering the reasons, or "breakup factors" contributing to the failure of said relationship. If solutions to these "breakup factors" are not implemented, a person often ends up repeating the same mistakes and compiling them with new ones in a new relationship. This book, call it a memoir of sorts, is my attempt to correct my own mistakes. By looking into the mindset of a younger me; using hind site, which everyone knows is 20/20, I hope to see the error of my ways and prevent myself from making the same category of epic failure.
      
        All of these women’s names have been changed of course, because let’s face it. People are crazy. I don’t want anyone to hunt these girls down and pester them at all. Some of them are happily married with lives of their own and I personally don’t want to be involved with any embarrassment or harassment. Some of them might recognize the stories and be offended by the content, to that I say write your own book. To the best of my ability, all of these stories are true and from my own opinion, and as you will see, I hold no punches of what I thought then and what I think now. Some of these stories are indeed humorous and some of them sad. Such is the dating life. I do not consider myself an expert in relationships in any way shape or form. These are simply my own experiences, good and bad, and what I’ve learned from them. Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I hope you will enjoy the rest of the book.

                                          

Love ya World!

Where Have You Been All My Life?

Hey World,

      It's been a while, I know, and honestly there is no excuse. I just reread some of my post from a while ago and I realized how long its actually been. Well, enough about that. I guess I should update you guys on a few things going on in my life and where I've been lately.

      First, I graduated and passed 2 out of 3 of my board exams. Haven't taken the third one yet, but now I am licensed by California to "practice" respiratory therapy. So that's cool. Second, I turned 24. (I can already tell this is gonna be a very "hohum" blog.) Lastly for now, I am single again, not a whole lot to say about that other than, its for the best...but...yea that's about it. I haven't been doing a whole lot of blog worthy things lately. Well, I did take part in a wedding, and let me tell you, it was fun.


      So, being that this was the first wedding I'd ever been a part of, I was exited. I was playing guitar for the ceremony and singing with a few friends during both the wedding and the reception. Looking back on it, I can see how people get stressed over these things. It's a lot of work. However, being the type of person I am, I didn't stress. I just made sure I had my songs memorized and I played them all day. Craziness! It payed off tho cuz the wedding was beautiful and the bride and groom were very happy. So it all worked out. I think I even have a picture with them later on in the day. Let me find it, or else I'll get "pictures or it didn't happen" from some of my friends. Even though they were there as well. I put it on instagram so here is the link.http://instagram.com/p/TJ_pMZkJjJ/

     Anyway, it was a good day. Things have been a whole lot better recently, so I can't complain. Oh, that book snippet that I blogged about a while ago, was on my old computer and it crashed. So I think I will just rewrite it as a blog series I'm sure you guys will enjoy that.

Well, I'm out till next time. I promise it won't be as long as this time. I'll holla at you!

Bye World.
Vic

The Weaker Sex

Hello World,

      Today, I want to talk to the men of the world about the women of the world. I want to talk to you specifically about the strength of women.

     No matter where you grow up or what your background is, as a male you grow up hearing that women are the weaker sex. What makes them the weaker sex? If you were to ask a group of men, boys, teenagers, just males period, what makes women the weaker sex, hands would shoot up all over the room and the first answer would be, physicality.Some guys think that women are physically weaker then men...... Idk about that one. I know girls that can bench press me benchpressing 200 pounds, so that answer seems a little fallible to me.

 Another answer they could give would be emotions.  They would say women are too emotional and emotions make them weak.(the hypothetical group thinks they've hit it on the head with this one and there is no way they could be proven wrong.) So, since that is the concensus of the group lets explore that.
    
      Ok so your dating a girl, you don't think she's gonna be long term, but she'll do right now. You don't treat her bad. In fact your a great guy to her and you treat her very well. In time you find some problems and things start to get annoying and you decide to leave. That is the end of your relationship. However, this situation isn't over. Looking down the road, you may be fine and she may seem fine, but let me assure you that damage was done. Because, the next guy that comes along could be a great guy, he could be the best thing that ever happened to her (at the time), but you know that diner where you used to take her? HE takes her there and all the memories of you start flooding back. Uhoh, now we have a problem, emotions are swelling and she starts to cry. He doesnt understand why this keeps happening and he gets tired of  it and does exactly what you did, he decides to leave. Now we have a real problem, now she's labeled as broken and tragic. She compiles more and more hurt onto her plate, maybe she has some daddy issues to go on top of you and the other guy issues. Maybe she has been physically or mentally abused and hasn't sought help for it, because she doesnt think she's worth it. WOAH, now she's crazy and every relationship she is in is a bad one. She settles for far less than she deserves, and is taken advantage of by everyone. (this is the part where the class gets quiet, and I ask the question, Is this what makes her the weaker vessel? Have her emotions crippled her and made her weak? At once I get a Unanimous yes.) WRONG! Guess what guy? Yeah you first guy. This is your fault. Her emotions havent made her weak. You have made her weak. Her scars arent because she's too fragile to handle loss. Its because you started a chain of hurt, and even though you were able to shake it off, she has been carrying it. The next guy came and left, leaving her with more to carry. The guy after that came and stockpiled more, daddy issues- more, abandonment issues- more. Do you see the cycle. She has been carrying it all. It's easier to be strong when your not carrying loads of baggage. You can run faster when your not weighted down. Does that make you stronger? No, it doesn't.
  
    See class, we as men need to be careful how we treat the women in our lives. We never know what damage we could do as a result of carelessness. We may think we are doing the right thing, even by her, but we are doing more than even we know. Thinking we can hook up with this girl and that one, or play with emotions just because we are good at it, and no reprocussions will accrue, is wrong. Because everytime we "take another one off the lot" she depreciates in value, maybe not to others but to herself. For guys coming into a relationship with a girl like this, you have a journey ahead of you. However, if you are determined and can sift through the baggage you may find a stronger women than even she thinks.

Class dismissed.
Vic

Boom! Boom! Shake Shake, now DROP

Hey world,


So life dealt you a bad hand. sent you a couple of bombs and it shook you up a bit.

 So WHAT! You've got to learn to get over it and over yourself. Wallow in your pity all you wants to, but the longer you stay there the longer things are going to be the same. Drop the drama, and learn to move forward. Staying in the past only hurts you and others around you.

The thing about a bad hand is that once the turn is over you get a new one, but you will never get a new one if you dont play the turn. The Universe is not out to get you, God is not trying to make your life hell,  and Karma is not coming around to bite you. Its called life, bad things happen that you can't control. How you react to these situations is what defines you, not the circumstance. So yea be the person who wallows or be the person who wallops. Do yourself a favor, drop the petty crap and be strong.


Love ya world
vic

Miss me maybe

Hello World,

     "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe."

 These words, this song, nay this epidemic, has permeated our minds and ears for months now. It's catchy tune and its rhythmic style have captivated hearts around the world.

 It's simply one of those songs you just cant get out of your head. However there is one part of this song that throws my lyrical mind for a loop. I believe its the bridge where she says "before you came into my life I missed you so bad." That concept threw me for a loop until recently.

     I used to think like our friend Mr. Wonka, until I really thought about it. Before you came into my life I didn't miss you as a person for who you were and who you would be to me. No, thats impossible. I missed you, meaning I couldn't attain you. I fell short time and time again. I failed over and over because you were not a part of my life. This is the reason I can say I missed you so bad, even though it is a poor use of English. I Missed you bad. There is no other way to say it, it was BAD.

      Now I understand you miss Jepsen, and I am not left in bewilderment. If I am wrong in my assessment, then please correct me. I would highly appreciate it.



Love ya world
Vic



                                                                                                                             

If you dont know me by now!

Hello World.

        We've been going at this for some time, while I admit; not as consistent as I hoped, but yet we persist. I just wanted to take some time and tell you some things about me you may not know already. When I say thing I don't mean long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners, because personally I'd rather be in the water and I prefer to stand when I eat. Its just so much better for the metabolism. Anyway, I wanted to put a certain number of things about me up on here but I decided that I'm just going to start at one and see where it takes me. So here we go.

1. I'm a pretty tolerant person, but I have strong beliefs.

2. I think that in the phrase "Lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets" Lady in the streets is the utmost important.

3. Contrary to whatever you may think, I am not a shallow person.

4. What a girl looks like on the outside, isn't the most important thing, In fact it really doesn't matter too much to me.

5. Give me a good book and I will be content all day.

6. I sometimes hold those close to me too tight.

7. I can be the nicest coolest person you'll ever meet or I can be the meanest jerk you know.

8. I can successfully be both people in number 7 at the same time.

9. I have big plans for my life.

10. I'm one of those guys who actually wants a wife and kids.

11. I like helping other people live better lives.

12. I live my life at a higher standard than I personally might believe, and I do it on purpose.

13. I know that people say I'm an attractive person, but I really don't care

14. I get what I want, but what I want is always changing.

15. I'm a strategist I make a move and watch to see how the game plays out then I make another move accordingly.

16. I have just as many girl friends as I do guy friends.

17. I used to be very self conscious about my looks, then i got over it.

18. I've spent over 80 dollars on books (non school books) just to read for my own personal pleasure.

19. I love hard and I fall harder

20. If you ask for the shirt on my back I'll asses if you really need it and then if you do ill give it to you.

21. I hate wearing clothes.

22. I believe love is an everyday choice, and its hard to do and the real test of any friendship/relationship is to keep making that choice no matter what.

23. I often sacrifice what I really want for the whims and joys of others.

24. If I could play any sport professionally it would be soccer

25. I have cried more this year than I had the 5 years previous.

26. I'm very good with words, but chose not to use them around certain people because they just don't understand.

27. I have family that I haven't seen for years, and every year I plan on seeing them, it just never happens.

28. I'll be 24 in 45 days.

29. I like to think that I'm a happy peroson

30. I ran out of things to say a while ago but I made sure I quit on an even number because i have certain friends  (pearliology) who would get on me for not making it to an even number


Well that was just a few randoms about me, I hope I bored you to the maximum while interesting you beyond belief.

Love ya world,
Vic

You are not alone

Hey World,

   There are times when everyone feels alone. There are times when you think nobody understands you, and no one cares. I've been there. We have all been there. The funny thing is, in most situations, we are surrounded by people who care about us and love us. We just can't see it. It's a temporary blindness brought on by emotional stress, crisis situations, or maybe you just WANT to feel down. (Believe me, It happens sometimes.) Either way, EITHER WAY,  in these moments we have to pause, we have to calm down, we have to look around and see all that we have, and open our eyes to the love that is waiting for us. It is here when we will see that we've been pushing our friends and loved ones away out of anger and or pity for our own selves. We neglect friendships and burn bridges in our minds that are made of steel in reality. This mentality has to stop. We have to stop and take time to rebuild those relationships or we wont have anything to rebuild later. Only because we've pushed everyone else so far, that it almost takes force to bring them back again.
   

    We grow older and lose friendships, but I want to take time today to recognize some of the people that have made my life bearable lately.

first my family, that goes without saying

My brothers (left to right) Houston and Eddie. whenever I need someone to talk to 

or set me straight, put me in my place, encourage me, or somebody to cry to, I call them.

My dude Danny, Sometimes people go through things that bring them closer together

well, we've been through most of it, and are still strong

My guys, my link to everything ( L2R: Nick, Me, Dan, Jon, and Dave)

Couldn't survive without these guys in my corner

Titus Golden, My shrink, my friend, my conscience, the angel and devil on my shoulder.

Your neighborhood friendly Darryl Gittens, funniest guy I know

with a heart of gold covered chocolate, hit him up ladies on twitter @EightBars

My bro, Kuresa. One of those people you go without, but can't do without.(makes sense think about it)

and yes, he is a ninja.

Now enough of the guys its time for the ladies.

These girls I don't see at all, but I know they pray for me and hold me down on a level that 

I may never understand. (Ana and Una)

This chick, Lisa is always down for fun, and always down to study. Shes always got the 

educational scoop on what's going down at school. She made clinicals fun for me and 

she is a good friend (and yes I am a ninja too)

My mistress Gabby, Love her to death and I just met her. She's Awesome in every sense of the word.

Ancilla doesn't even know me, we never met. We just so happen to follow each other on twitter

but, there have been times when I've seen her tweets at the roughest time of the day and she's made me laugh or smile or just be happy and thankful. Its people like this that do things for you and they will never know.

This is the perfect picture to describe Sarah Pearl. She's a nut but she's a good person and she loves her friends and family.

 Steph is going to kill me for this picture but I don't care, She's one of those people who will come when you call no matter what. She is a very giving person, so sometimes I give her 5 min to talk about unicorns

Allison, If
I could have a daughter who was a year and a half older than me, then Alli would be it. She's so small but she's strong and smart, and packs a mean punch

Here she is, The love of my life Amanda. I could say too much about her so I" will purposely not say enough other than, Without her I would be a mess, and not a hot mess a straight mess.

Last but not least, the woman that made my woman possible. Shirley Tadiarca (Amanda's mom)

She is the first to be encouraging and help me when I need it. She is subtle and precise with me and I like that, she gets me and makes sure she includes me in her prayers.

There are so many others that have made life great for me this past year or so, but many of them are not on social networks and I don't have pics of, and I think I've stolen enough pics for the day, but i am no less thankful  for them all . Take the time to think of those who love you and who you love. Hopefully the more you do, the less you will feel alone, and the happier you will be. 

Love you world,

Vic