So I know I said I would post this tomorrow, but I had to get this out today!! So you know how there are those girls that give you all the signals and every inkling that they are attracted to you or that they like you? You know those girls, the ones that tell all their friends about you. They tell everyone how they feel about you, but you. Yea that was Stella #2. However, unlike Stella #1, Stella #2 couldn't speak to me in person at all! Well, I mean she would smile and continue conversation, but she didn't speak unless spoken to, at least not to me she didn't. It was a very quiet friendship (because we never dated), but man she just looked so good! UGH!! It was frustrating at times, but then again we were both kids, 17 years old, no knowledge of what a real relationship was going to be. All we knew was that we liked each other.
Thing is, she was smart. She said she didn't want a relationship until she had spent some serious time in school. Seeing as how we were both freshman at the time, I was OK with that. In fact, I respected it and was completely on board with it. You see, contrary to popular belief at the time.
I really liked her. Like a lot, a whole lot. It wasn't love, I had yet to figure out what that was, but to me it was pretty close, at that time. Like I said earlier I was a kid. I was dumb and inexperienced in the ways of women. I had no idea that what i thought was a good thing, wasn't anything at all.
Yea, as quick as it started, it ended. She just stopped talking to me one day. I never knew why, till this day, but hey, if it was that easy it wasn't meant to be. In all reality I probably did something to make her upset, or I said something or somebody else said something. Either way it was done. It didn't hurt me, it was just perplexing. I couldn't seem to figure out what I'd done wrong. That's what messed me up the most, not knowing. It was like someone coming up to you and smacking you in the face and you had no idea why. I raked my brain for months afterward trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. Eventually I just got over it....and yea that's the story of Stella #2.
What I learn from Stella #2
#1 Establish a better foundation before you really commit to something. Now this could come off as having commitment issues, but it really isn't. It's being smart. It's choosing wisely to better yourself. It's having the mental fortitude to know whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with this person based on who they are, and what you can and cant live with. I believe that is exactly what Stella #2 did. She made those decisions for herself while I was too busy feeling. She was thinking.
#2 Talk about more than just your day. Really get to know the person, what makes them tick and click and cluck. these things are important. If there is no depth than when the tide comes its over.
(and the tide comes in daily)
(and the tide comes in daily)
#3 Spend time talking alone, without friends. If there is never a point that you can have one on one conversation. You will never really see that person for who they really are. Phone calls, emails, hand written letters (I know old school), all of these will help you have those intimate conversations without pushing the boundaries of comfort.
I guess if there is a nugget of wisdom in this it would be just to realize exactly what your getting into before you do it. If I would have realized this, it would have saved me a lot of trouble.
love ya world
Vic
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