Helloooooo World,
Haha, I start this one out laughing because of a conversation i just had with a friend. I was reminiscing trying to remember how this particular relationship got started. My friend was of no help at all. She was hating per usual, but its OK we will be entertained none the less.
This chapter in my life belongs to a girl who I will affectionately call Amelia. However let me tell you a little bit about my life at this point. Picture me a senior in college, 20 years old with the world at my fingertips. A bright and shining future lay wait for me after two semesters were over. Hah, I was bored, tired of school and singing "the Diddy" ( I need a girl part 1 and 2) . I had been in some wreckers of relationships, of which I'll tell you more about later, and I had come out pretty scarred, but I wasn't going to let that deter me from finding "true love." Amelia came to me at a time when I was trying to stay away from females. Not in the I'm turning gay sense, but in the i need to chill kind of way, but that always works out to plan right...lol Now while I don't remember how I asked her out I do remember how we met.
There she was, a cute girl, nice build, you could tell she was an athlete, which was a big plus. At the time I wasn't interested in her in a dating sense, but there was definitely an attraction. She was sitting all alone in the cafeteria. Eating all alone. She looked so, pathetic really. At first I didn't even notice her there, my friend who I was eating lunch with pointed her out. We both go talk to her, because at the time I was super shy and couldn't approach a girl. ( because I have no game whatsoever, real talk) We got to talking and told her that if she ever needed friends to sit with we come in every day at the same time to the cafeteria. Well my dude did the talking I just smiled and cosigned. So life goes on and a couple weeks pass bye. My friend tells me that he kinda thinks she's cute and wants to know more about her. So being the friendly guy that i was of course I knew her close friends so I inquired. Turns out she liked me. OK, so dilemma, a couple dilemmas. 1. she was hot 2. my boy inquired 3. what do I tell my dude 4. I'm tryna stay away from girls. I eventually (2 days later) told my dude and to my surprise he told me to go for it. Which I eventually did.
The relationship was good for a while, and despite getting white knuckled in a movie theater I genuinely had feelings for this girl. There were some problems though. We didn't clicked as well as I would have liked. I am a very nonchalant kind of guy. I don't freak out much. I don't let my emotions come out in public. I usually trend on the calm, cool, collected side. That was a problem because she was polar opposite of that. Freak out and "trips to outer space were a frequent thing. At first I chalked it up to her just being a girl. However, eventually it started to affect me, and not just me but our friends as well. Of course her long time friends were now mine as well, and it was tense all around. In fact it was so tense I was advised to end the relationship. Nooooooo (Kevin Hart voice) I wasn't ready for that, so I mulled it over for a while. Still situation after situation finally influenced my decision and I ended the relationship. I could spend great time going over every thing and how it all crumbled down, but then it wouldn't be helpful at all, and that's why I'm writing this to learn more about myself. After college and Amelia I didn't get into another relationship for a while, I know it doesn't show much now, but I took the relationship with Amelia seriously, and it hurt to let it go, but I knew it was best for the both of us.
What I learn from Amelia
1. Stick to your guns. The thing with Amelia was I started off in a sticky wicket because it wasn't something I went after, it came to me. I was trying to stay away from all the relationship stuff and this is exactly what happens when you don't do what you know you should.
2. Emotional baggage and instability matters. Issues with exes and emotional problems that stem from that can ruin relationships. Instability is so audible its visible. I needed to learn to recognize it earlier and keep the situation at a safe emotional level for both parties. It taught me to work on my own stability as well.
3. Be picky. One of my biggest problems was taking what came to me. Side dooring it, going through friends or alternative routes to make decisions or ask girls out or whatever. I needed to man up and go after what I wanted and leave what I didn't need alone.
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